What's Ahead...
Introduction
Chapter 1 Divorce court may not be hell, but you can see it from there
Chapter 2 So you think you're in love, do you?
Chapter 3 Why are you getting married?
Chapter 4 'I know he's not perfect, but....'
Chapter 5 Opposites attract....
Chapter 6 Coping with Conflict
Chapter 7 Are your 'in-laws' really 'out-laws'? Some thoughts on family and friends
Chapter 8 Let's Talk 'Children'
Chapter 9 Taking it all in: Another look at love and marriage
Chapter 10 Mismanaging Money: A sure way to ruin a good marriage
Chapter 11 Your goals and dreams
Chapter 12 Young love
Chapter 13 Getting older: Ever think about tomorrow?
Chapter 14 Is there a crystal ball in the house?
Chapter 15 So, what's your rush?
Chapter 16 Your commitment to each other: Growing up or growing apart
Chapter 17 Blind about love, or just blind about marriage: Can there be a difference?
Chapter 18 Spiritual and Religious Dimensions
Chapter 19 Alcoholism and Drug Addiction
Chapter 20 Breaking up: Cutting the ties that grind
Chapter 21 No longer blind, but still in love....
Introduction
This book may be one of the most important you will ever read. Its purpose is to help you make a decision that will shape your future and affect your happiness forever.
If you are like most, you have an innate desire to try to shape your life and control your own destiny. It's our nature as human beings. In a world filled with such uncertainty, and so many apparently random events, it gives us reassurance to think we have some control of our life.
By the time we reach adulthood, most of us are ready for independence in our lives. Why not? Our first eighteen years or so have been spent at the mercy (hopefully of the benevolent kind) of other people: our parents, siblings, teachers and others who made important decisions for us. Think about what that has meant to you. You made it all the way to adulthood and the most significant events in your short life were totally out of your control.
This is a self-help book. It deals with the one event in your life that will drastically affect your destiny, but fortunately over which you do have complete control: Marriage.
The fact is there are many people who go through life, and into marriage, as if they were blissfully unaware of the future consequences of bad decision-making. 'Love is blind,' after all, right? Well, I want your 'blindness' to be cured before you make a decision you will have to live with the rest of your life.
The purpose of this book is to get people thinking before they take that big vow.
Right now you have a choice to make: Get married and take your chances, or take a few hours this week and read this book. Then you can make an informed, intelligent decision about whom, if anyone, you marry. Wouldn't you agree that decision should be made at least as intelligently as if you were buying a new car or a house? At the least, right? Why not? It's a decision of lifelong consequences and all that is at stake is your very future.
I am writing this book to share my experience talking to over one thousand people during the past decade and a half, people who were divorcing the person they once thought was the person of their dreams, their knight in shining armor, or similar heart-throbbing adjectives.