The 12 Spiritual Laws of Recovery

Chapter Five

Step 5: “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

Spiritual Law Five
Law of Non-Judgment
“We only judge that which we do not understand,
and if we don’t understand,
how accurate can our judgment be anyway.”
Wm. “Rahasya” Poe

            The moment we admit to God, ourselves, and another human being the nature of our wrongs, we have taken another step in claiming our power back.  It’s been said that, “confession is good for the soul.” I think we’ve all experienced the relief that’s felt after we’ve cleared the air with a confession.

In the “Course of Miracles” they say to get up and say, “Today, I will not Judge anyone or anything.”[i] This is where the “Law of Non-Judgment” is indispensable, because when you judge something in yourself or others, you are firmly based in your ego, and this leads to a form of pride that will eventually blind you. Ultimately, you will end up sometimes judging people and events merely to justify why you are judging.

I have seen people get hung-up here by getting into admitting “what” they did wrong, when the emphasis should be on “why,” hence “the nature of our wrongs.” As a matter of fact, I have been to meetings where some have gone on and on about all the “things” they have done wrong and completely bypassed the “nature” of those wrongs.

If You Can Feel It, You Can Heal It

            As thinking beings, we love to get immersed into thoughts about our lives, our actions, and even our feelings. In other words, we love drama. But, when it comes to feelings, we shouldn’t confuse the “Map for the Territory.” When we start doing Step 5, we are going to uncover feelings that have been buried for some time. It will be tempting to just talk about the action involved, or if we do get close to the feeling, say something like, “I think I feel angry.”  To start the healing process, you need to do much more than ‘think’ you ‘feel’ anger. You need to ‘feel it,’ own it, and eventually transform it. Remember, “if you can feel it, you can heal it,” you could even say that “feeling it, is healing it.”

            When you work Step 5, think of it as “taking out the trash.” Don’t judge it or rationalize it, just dump it. Don’t get me wrong, go into the feelings, but you can do it in such a way that you can easily let go of them. This is another Step where the meditation is indispensable. As a matter of fact, I can honestly say that for me, without meditation, this Step would be nothing more than empty words. 

Be Compassionate With Yourself and Others

            It’s important to realize that compassion comes about when we view the world non-judgmentally.  We are so used to seeing a world that is polarized into right and wrong, good and bad, and it’s further reinforced by our senses because they (our senses) tell us that there is up and down, right and left, etc. In some of the writings from the Nag Hammadi Library, it’s stated this way, “--When you make the two one, and when you make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and when you make the male and female one and the same--then will you enter the Kingdom of my Father--” It also goes on to say that this is when you say to the mountain, “move” and the mountain moves.

            It may also be worth noting that in recent research,[ii] the emotions of appreciation and compassion produces effects on the body that significantly affect the cardiovascular system in a positive way. Also in a paper titled, “The Physiological and Psychological Effects of Compassion and Anger,” they found that compassion significantly increases antibodies, while anger decreases them.[iii]

            So while you are admitting the exact nature of your wrongs, remember to give yourself a little credit and don’t pass judgment on yourself or others. 

Be Ye As a Child--Again

            I know this may be difficult, but for a moment, let go of your beliefs (don’t worry, if they’re true, they will be there when you get back). Now think back to when you were young.  Did you judge others and hold them in contempt because they didn’t live up to your expectations? Did you live in fear of a capricious God frowning down on you waiting to punish you for your evil sins? Or did you live life amazed with its wonder, easily forgiving those that hurt you and always seeing the beauty in life. Our beliefs are the outcome of what we have learned over the years from parents, friends, and of course, the church. It’s easy to see that we have learned to judge primarily because we feel that we are being judged. This, in turn, adds to the separation we feel from God because we fear his judgment. Then, of course, there’s the aspect of judging others merely to make ourselves feel better. 

            How many times have we seen those who shout righteousness fall from the very thing they’re shouting about? We tend to judge in others the very thing that we need to heal in ourselves. So, while you’re admitting the exact nature of your wrongs, remember to give yourself a little credit and don’t pass judgment on yourself or others.

As a final word on this subject, know this, how you see God is to a large degree how you see yourself. If you see Him sitting in judgment, you will be into self-judgment, if you see Him sitting on a thrown as a dictator, then you will see yourself as powerless and disconnected from Him. The truth tends to be simple, and to the degree you experientially know this, your life will become better: “You are ONE with God.”