Before I Say I Do

Chapter One

LIVING SINGLE

Deep inside our complex world, within the heartbeat of the family social structure, lies the common denominator of the individual.  The individual is important and intricate to the survival of a wholesome family unit. 

Today, family unit is two or more persons that share and relate to one another in an intimate fashion.  No longer does blood relation play a major role in the family structure.  Many people form bonds outside the family unit to create an extended psychological myth of the definition of family.  For the purpose of this chapter, we will proclaim the traditional family unit as the normal typographic unit.

The original plan for the human race can be referred back to our creator and equated with the need to love and be loved.  It is the reciprocal act of love, which stems from our creator that places a heavy challenge on the individual to duplicate what he has received and promote it upon all mankind.

The individual that plans to engage in marriage should first of all consider the readiness of their personal self.  Many times within the family unit individuals are injured and molded into the opposite of what God intended for them to become.  Because of the misfortunate struggles from the past, each individual must assess the damage received and seek healing before making the life-choice.  Keep in mind, that all the past struggles that were encountered from your childhood and or adolescence may have damaged your senses.  This advent forces an individual to act and think in retreat of what the word of God demands he or she should correlate with.  Know that, There is hope!

It is no option that the Christian must line up with the Holy Scriptures to be successful in the walk of life here on earth.  The individual must take in account that there are many different morals and values formed based on the experiences encountered throughout their life-span which can either ruin a relationship or seal it shut.  This can be attributed to the many diverse backgrounds that people come from. Each experience sparks some gray area in the person’s cognitive relay that influences beliefs and values.   It is safe to say that every individual becomes a product of his/her own environment, whether that exposure is of positive or negative influence.  For the believer we know that all things work together for good to them who love God and are called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28).  This means that no matter what a person has experienced in life, he or she can overcome the evil with good.  It means that in Christ our weaknesses are defeated and nailed to the cross.  The turning point in our lives comes when we knowing that we were made perfectly strong in Christ Jesus, let the weak say, I am strong (Joel 3:10).

A good idea is to know your likes, dislikes, and destiny prior to mate selection.  Many approaches can be administered in the process of gaining self-knowledge.  The key is to dive deep into the word of the living God and ask Him what His will is for your life. 

Many people fail to reach self-actualization in their lifetime.  Self-actualization is the final stage in a person’s needs to fulfill their purpose in life. Reaching the higher end of self-fulfillment will put you in a position to help others and be available for your Ruth or Boaz. Removing selfishness is a vital process that will pay off in your marriage.

Some good advice is to know who you are before you take the next step in your life.  It will make a great difference in your relationships with others. Knowing yourself better will help you become more focused on what God wants instead of what you want for yourself.

The absence of a companion to share the blessedness of life is living single.  The most significant thing about living single is having full control of where you are in comparison to where you are going.  You have the zealous responsibility to be wholesomely healthy.  This is your time to lose the pain of your past, unshackle the weights of bitterness, and move into a new realm of freedom.  It is not fair to your mate if you enter into the covenant of marriage unsound.  In fact, this unhealthiness attacks the very foundation of marriage and may cause your relationship to go sour.   Take the time prior to marriage to do a self-check.  Unhealthiness prior to marriage is like building your relationship on a sandy shore.  When the storm of life comes raging in, your foundation will disappear right before your eyes. 

Somewhere along life’s path we seem to become incredibly tainted by sin.  When we wake up and realize that we are creatures made in the image and likeness of God we can grow into state of blessed hope.  Undoubtedly, when Adam fell into sin, we all fell with him.  However, with the works of Jesus Christ our Lord we can bridge over into a new kingdom of forgiveness, healing, and prosperity.