The Golfer's Fairway of Verses
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
FOOM, FOOM MAN”
In Honor Of The Honorable Member Stan
Morgan
He is cool, calm, and collected
Until he’s had all he can stand
Then the club in his grip
Takes a rotor blade trip
That’s why he’s called the “Foom Foom Man!”
He learned early in his
tossing
Not to create extra walking
He’s very high strung
But not very dumb
He slings it where he’ll be stalking!
DEFENSIVE GOLF
In Honor Of The Esteemed Chairman
I was sleeping alone overnight
In my humble abode near Saltville
All kinds of odd sounds and sights
Did disturb my slumber so tranquil.
Then, past one I heard a
strange scratching
On the outside of the rear screen door
I grabbed my two iron, nearly tripping
And sprang across the bedroom floor.
Then using the overlapping
grip
I took a back swing ‘most to the rug.
Then, I jerked the door open and swung
And knocked the pure hell out of a bug!
PHARMACEUTICAL
GOLF
Ken had a bad banana slice
That was more than he could endure
So he went into pharmacy
To invent a chemical cure.
Now, it’s my sad lot to report
After pouring through many drug books
His research was so successful
His banana slice now snap-hooks!
FUM DUMB GOLFER
In Honor Of The Honorable Larkin Murphy
Fe, fi, fo, fum
When it comes to golf
Larkin’s plumb dumb!
LIZZIE BORDON WAS A POOR ROLE MODEL
In Honor Of The Honorable Sharon Murphy
Sharon Murphy took an ax
And gave her driver forty whacks
And when she saw what she had done
She gave her putter forty-one!
The other day in old Mount
Holly
A young lady went berserk.
She’d played sev’ral crappy rounds
After laying out of work.
From the eighteenth she ran
shrieking
To the hardware store she dashed
Grabbed an ax, dumped her golf bag
Then the ax began to flash.
Some folks say she didn’t do
it
Others say, “Insanity”
Golfers say, “Very normal
When your Moms won three of three!
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
“The golfer’s Fairway of Verses” is a litany of
descriptions of the character traits and golf swing foibles of close friends
and family, all amusing and lighthearted.
It also uses the tunes of familiar songs including ballads, folk songs,
and country songs. As a result the
reader is permitted to combine his appreciation of familiar music with his love
for the game of golf. Further, the
golfers described in “The Golfers Fairway of Verses” as typical of all golfers
and once more the reader will get much pleasure as he reads the tome of
thinking of someone he knows that have the same characteristics, personal and
golf-wise, as the one his is reading about.
Perhaps the most significant trait of “ The Golfer’s
Fairway of Verses is that it is impossible to read it and not come to the end
in anything other than a happy, up-lifted disposition, smiling from ear to ear,
in not actually chuckling aloud.
About the Author
The author is one of ten children born in a three
room shack in the Appalachian Mountains of western North Carolina. He never saw a golf club until he was
fourteen years old, but, once introduced to the game, fell in love with
it. Not able to take full pleasure in
his new game due to financial considerations for several years, never-the-less
he improved his game enough to shoot a “69” once and often in the
seventies. After retiring in 1996 from
a 30 year public education career he now spends his time in literary pursuits
and plays golf whenever he wishes.