Tossing More Than Cookies
An olio of humor, gravity, poetry, depravity, art, and observations
by
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Mark Antony was Cleo’s long time lover;
But now his friend from Rome is on the make.
“Your Caesar sees your senior seizures, Cleo;
You may as well go out and buy a snake.”
A grizzled old drunkard named Ted
Was trying to undress for bed.
This king of all sousers
Pulled up on his trousers
And took them off over his head!
FISH SCALES
Abe Lincoln once told of a man who was bold
In mishandling the truth with aplomb.
(One wonders just why most all fishermen lie...
An accepted worldwide rule of thumb.)
The townspeople questioned the fisherman’s tales
As he bragged on the weight of each fish.
To prove his veracity, he bought some scales,
For celebrity was his prime wish.
From thereon he brought ev’ry fish that he caught
And the people would witness each weight.
He established a name and was proud of his fame,
Ne’er suspecting a vag’ry of fate.
A baby was born in the town Christmas morn
As the doctor was making his rounds.
He borrowed the fisherman’s scales and said, “Whee!”
“This baby
weighs forty-six pounds!”
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About the Book
Scattered throughout these entertaining pages you
will find humorous limericks, short stories, and story poems, observations,
short stories, and occasionally some intriguing information. (Did you know that our common earthworm has
five hearts? That it is bisexual,
leading a life of proliferous promiscuity?
Are we really aware of what’s going on underfoot?)
This page-turner is gamut prone with chapters that
ricochet from humor to gravity; from poetry to depravity. It promises guffaws and huzzahs, insights
that may give pause, and approaches some subjects too humorous to mention.
About the Author
Carroll DeCamp lives on the wooded banks of the
meandering Muscatatuck River in southern Indiana.
Although he is a published music composer/arranger
of many works, his friends finally convinced him to share these diverse
writings of humor, observations and miscellanea via publication.
Besides the humorous limericks and story poems, you
will find some octogenarian musings, short stories, and some outlandish humor
from this incorrigible curmudgeon.
DeCamp says that life without humor would be
tantamount to having hives in a strait jacket.
The author would like to express his deep gratitude
to Brook and Vernay Reindollar for their assistance and astute suggestions
which helped make this book possible.