TELEPHONE TALES
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
The Medal A ward
Haircut
Mom used to be the one to cut her children's hair; but when
she got a job, she had much .less time so she sent Geordie and Suzy to the
local hairdresser. He wasn't the best of all barbers, but his shop was at least
close by. Dad had stopped getting his hair cut there because the barber was a
terrible chatterbox and never stopped asking questions as his scissors went
'snip-snip-snip-(Sound). He seemed even nosier with Geordie and his sister;
"So what do you do first when you come home from school?" "How's
your math coming along under Miss Scratchit?;; "what d 'you have for breakfast?" "How
many times have you worn that dress?" "How does Mom like her new job?
Dy'all eat much broccoli at home and how does your
Mom prepare it?" and so and so on and so on. The kids didn't encourage him
by long answers, but every time he seemed to become more and more inquisitive.
During the recent floods, Geordie had quietly rescued a
kitten from drowning in the Bayou behind his school. It was rash of him to do
it because he could have been swept away. He thought no-one had seen him and
wasn't going to tell anybody, not knowing that the principal himself had
witnessed it all. Now, he was going to be given a bravery medal by the Mayor. no less!
He felt rightly proud of the big honor as the Mayor bent
over him and hung the medal ribbon round his neck. But he knew the barber at
his next haircut would quizz him mercilessly about
every detail of the ceremony. So he decided on a new tack.
The medal-giving in the school auditorium was shown on
television and written up in the newspapers. "Schoolboy hero awarded
medal.” But, sure enough, at the next
haircut, the barber was on at him again. "So it was the Mayor himself who
took time off from his busy schedule to give you that splendid award!" he
gushed, as his scissors went 'Snip -snip - snip' (sound). I would have
died from pride and joy in your place, but you looked almost bored. Of course
I'd never have worn those black pants for that occasion but I suppose that was
your Mom's choice, wasn’t it? I noticed Miss Scratchit
actually smiling in the front row. . .” 'snip-snip- snip-(sound).
' "But the Mayor seemed to be whispering
something to you as he bent over you and draped the black ribbon round your
neck. More congratulations, no doubt? I'd just love to
know, - or is it a secret?"
"No secret at all" replied Geordie. "What he
said was - Where did you get that awful haircut ?"
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
TO THE NARRATOR
These stories are written mainly, though not exclusively,
for children. Like most such tales, they are designed to be read aloud and they
have proved very popular with many young audiences. The stories are moreover
short enough to offer entertainment within the brief span of a two to three
minute telephone call and they have in fact been successfully told long-distance
at bedtime over the phone. The more expressively and colorfully they are read,
the more they are enjoyed. So, narrators, come out strongly with your sheep
bleats, pooch growls, dragon snorts, a good 'yi-ucks'
at the smell of garbage, and all the other important sound effects suggested in
the texts; and have fun narrating as you go!
Some of the Tales may contain words new to young audiences. -('Grandma - what does 'dawdle' mean, and what is a 'shrew'
?) - So a glossary is provided [at P (iv)] for you to
consult if necessary. The stories can in this way usefully serve as effective
vocabulary expanders, without taking substantially longer to read.
A few. illustrations
are provided for audiences being read to direct. Listeners may, however, like
to draw their own interpretations of, say, Holy MacRoary,
Busybody Sniff or Dog Molecule. In our own family, Captain Trumpet and Aunt
Crotchety have proved popular subjects for grandsons to Fax back to Grandad.
A pleasant surprise has been that despite or perhaps because
of the quirky nature of these stories, they have been shown to appeal to
parents with a sense of humor as well as to offspring.
About the Author
Oxford
Scholar and University boxing middleweight; a WWII Commando; a British
diplomat, winding up as British
Ambassador to El Salvador; once kept a pet javelina;
father of four and granddad of (so far) six; Michael Wenner
has a published autobiography and two minor books. He wrote Telephone Tales mainly to entertain
his family but the stories – short and colorful enough to read successfully by
phone – have proved po0pular with fifth and sixth grade students taught by the
author as a volunteer teacher, and much further afield;
hence their publication now for readers young and old.
The
author lives in Houston, with Beastlet, his pet
guinea-pig; and his wife, sixth generation Houstonian and former zookeeper.