PROBLEM: During the last couple of years that Irwin was at home, he became increasingly agitated. You ask me why? Usually, I had no idea. I just knew I had better back off.
I ordered a lamp from the Spiegel Catalog. When the big package arrived, I took it straight to the kitchen to open it. I was trying to do this before Irwin could see what I was doing.
No such luck. Irwin came into the kitchen and saw me unpacking the lamp. He bent over the box and said, “Let me help with that.” Irwin quickly grabbed the shrink wrap that covered the upper portion of the lamp. Irwin intended to pull it off . The lamp started to give and I said, “Irwin, you can’t pull it off, you have to cut it off.”
He wheeled around to the kitchen junk drawer and grabbed a hammer. Coming over to stand in front of me, Irwin shook the hammer twice towards my forehead. He missed my head by no more than one inch and said, “This is what you need!”
Just as quickly as he started, Irwin stopped. He wheeled around and threw the hammer back into the drawer and walked off. I just stood there, frozen.
A SOLUTION THAT WORKED FOR ME: I knew there was only one thing for me to do because I could no longer handle him. I called Irwin’s doctor at the Perry Point VA Medical Center in Maryland, telling her what happened, ending with, “But I know my husband would not hit me.”
Her answer, “No your husband wouldn’t hit you; but that man you are living with absolutely would.”
Then I did the unthinkable: I gave her permission to put Irwin on the waiting list for admission. Irwin and I were so lucky. Under ordinary circumstances he would not have been eligible for admission to a Veterans Hospital.
His twenty years of service, the Invasion of Normandy, the Battle of the Bulge, and the Korean War, and many other assignments, did not make him eligible.
At that time, there were only two criteria for a veteran to be eligible for admission: Number One—The veteran must have been a prisoner of war. Number Two—The veteran must have been injured in the line of duty and/or be drawing a VA disability pension.
Irwin did not qualify under either of those two categories. However, there was an ongoing study of Alzheimer’s patients being conducted at the Perry Point VA Medical Center in Maryland. Irwin could only be admitted if his name rose to the top of the admissions list after all eligible veterans were admitted. That did not happen very often.
Now back to our house; Irwin was now comfortably watching television. I finished unpacking the lamp.