I’ll Be All Right
An Autobiographical Account of a Widow’s Grief
by
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Why write a book about grief?
After my husband, Jack, died in
1988, I desperately sought comfort, peace, and understanding in the written
word, anything that would help me understand all that I was feeling and to
affirm the normalcy of these feelings. What I found was few: pamphlets, poems,
articles, or small books. Although they provided great solace, none were
written by someone who had actually experienced the death of a spouse.
Shadowlands, a movie based on
Sinclair Lewis’ book A Grief Observed,
came the closest to explaining what I felt, but this
came five years into the grieving process. By then I was well on my way to
recovery. A quote from the movie, however, gave me a new perspective on my
loss. Sinclair Lewis’ marriage was only a few years old when his wife, Joy, was
diagnosed with terminal cancer. In one
movie scene, the two are in a beautiful meadow when Lewis painfully bemoans the
fact that their years together were so few. Joy responds, “The pain is for the
happiness then.” This quote made me realize that the unbearable pain of grief
was the price paid for the love and happiness brought to me by my soul mate.
In the fifteen years since Jack’s
death in 1988, I’ve counseled many widows through their first years of
grief. In writing this book, I hope that
those who lose a spouse will benefit from my journey through the dark dungeons
of grief and back to a life of light and, again, happiness.
This book can be read in its
entirety and chapters revisited as you move through your own grief
journey. The chapters describe my
experiences with the stages of grief and decisions I made that helped me walk
slowly forward in this unexpected fork in the road of my life’s journey.
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About the Book
The loss of a spouse is one of
the most difficult experiences of our lives.
I’ll Be All Right is a very
personal, autobiographical account of a widow’s grief. Using nightly journal entries as a
foundation, the author describes the stages she experienced in overcoming the
death of her husband. No stage is
omitted.
I’ll Be All Right is written so that it can be read in its entirety
or in segments as the griever encounters a particular stage of grief or a
crossroad that requires a decision. At
the end of each chapter is a set of questions for the readers to use as a guide
to reflect on their own grief.
The author and her husband shared
a very rare and deep bond. Each chapter
is accompanied by a quote from a song, poem or letter written to her by her
husband. The author hopes that by
sharing these, the reader will sense the great love that was shared and lost.
And in knowing the author was able to overcome her tremendous grief, other
widows will find there is a hope for escape from the dark dungeons of despair
in which they find themselves.
About the Author
Paulette Shockey,
Ph.D., is a survivor of the grief process. A life-long educator, Paulette
taught for many years before becoming a middle and high school principal. After
30 years in public education, Paulette took a respite from her career to pursue
personal interests, including fulfilling a long-term goal of writing a book
about her grief journey. I’ll Be All
Right is that book. She has since returned to public education as a school
principal.
Paulette lives in