Spreading My Wings

Unfortunately, Rachel had come to expect that whatever she did would be interrupted by something beyond her control before she could complete it or get recognition for it.  She learned to expect defeat and to give up gracefully when it involved something strictly for her satisfaction or enjoyment.  Rachel had originally wanted to play the flute, but her mom got a deal on a clarinet.  So, Rachel agreed to play the clarinet instead.  Her life became a pattern of settling for what pleased or benefited others instead of insisting on having what she wanted.  Her self-esteem was low, but nobody noticed.  She had plenty of confidence in her abilities.  The problem was that she never learned to apply her talents to what she wanted and see it all the way through.  She never learned to attribute real value to what was important to her...until now.

            So, here she was...behind the wheel of her Infinity Q45, paused in front of the home she shared with her husband for ten years.  They had driven there straight from the airport after their honeymoon and Gordon had carried her over the threshold.  The moment he stepped inside he started kissing her.  Then, as her feet were barely on the floor he started undressing her with one hand as he caressed her body with the other one.  “We have to break it in right,” Gordon had whispered in her ear as he lowered her to the living room floor.  Rae smiled and remembered.  She glanced at Gordon again and pressed on the gas pedal.  She dared not hesitate too long.  If she didn’t follow through Rae feared she might never have the courage again.  As she drove away, panic was building inside her.  Rae thought about her life with Gordon.  She remembered how they had “broken-in” every room in the house.  All five bedrooms and four bathrooms, the laundry room, the dining room, and the kitchen, even the garage and the deck were properly “broken-in.”  Gordon had said they were christening each room with their love and that would make the house their home.  He saw to it that each christening was more unique and memorable than the one before. 

            Rae let her thoughts trail back to that night on the deck.  Toward the end of this lengthy little christening, they noticed somebody peaking at them through a knothole in the fence.  It was dark and they might never have noticed him had they not heard the sound of heavy breathing that was not their own.  Along with that, later came a loud thump as the noisy little pervert fell against the fence exhausted.  Not wanting to ruin their evening, they just yelled, “Was it good for you too,” and laughed out loud.  The next day when they smiled and said “Good morning,” to the man next door he turned red as a beet!…

…Memories of the past ten years played like movie frames in Rae’s mind.  She often felt that her life began the day she met Gordon.  Their backgrounds were very different, but they loved each other and she had always believed that was enough.