Marathon Dancer

"How many teams are going to be left tomorrow at this time?

Tune into our noon broadcast tomorrow.  Better still, come down and view this contest firsthand!  Come to the All American Derby Show here on the boardwalk in Long Beach.  Fifty cents will buy you the biggest entertainment value to be found anywhere!  Adults fifty cents and kids are a quarter!

Hear that roar go up?  The judge is counting on Joe and Margie Vander, six, seven, eight!  Joe manages to move his feet at the count of eight!  I wish you could see the judge!  He is truly frustrated!”  Another roar goes up!

Team #37 is in bad trouble; Curley Baker and Alice Pardee.  Alice’s entire body weight is in the arms of her partner.  Curley struggles desperately to keep Alice’s knees from touching the floor.  She is absolutely unconscious!  “Jack Standey!” Fagan shouts.  “Jack Standey!  Jack is having a terrible time trying to keep his eyes open!  You folks out there, did you ever fight going to sleep?  If you did, you’d know the harder you try and stay awake, the sleepier you become.  That’s what’s happening to Jack Standey!  Jack can’t keep his eyes open!”  Fagan has to shout to be heard as another roar goes up.

“Jack Standey has come to life and is shaking his head vigorously, trying to get the cobwebs out of his mind.  He attempts to put his head back on Babe’s shoulder.  Babe takes a step back and gives him a ‘whack’ to his left cheek.  I felt that one!  I’m sure you heard the ‘whack’ she gave him; everybody in the auditorium heard it.  She really walloped him!”  Fagan is very descriptive.  Standey holds Babe away at arms’ length and shuffles along under his own power.

“The applause you hear is for Babe Berry and Jack Standey,” Fagan announces.

“Joe Vander!”  Fagan shouts.  “Joe’s eyes open and close spasmodically.  He has lost his grip on the towel he held around his sister’s waist.  Margie’s knees slip closer and closer to the floor!  Listen to that crowd!” Fagan continues describing the action.  “The floor judge has his gun pointed toward the ceiling, anxious and ready for a disqualification!  Joe Vander’s fingers part and Margie’s blouse slides up as her body slides slowly toward the floor!  Thirty seconds to go!” Fagan screams.

“Our air time is up, Friends.  Tune in tomorrow at this time for the outcome of this frantic night or come on down to the Al J. Roth, All American Derby Show here on the boardwalk in Long Beach.”   The theme song swells.   A shot rings out.  “There has been another disqualification, Ladies and G…...”  Fagan’s airtime is up and his voice is cut off in mid-sentence.

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"Velma will enter the tomb of ice bare-footed and wearing only a one piece bathing suit.  She will have a flashlight.  Joe Turner, our trainer and good friend to all of the contestants, will have a flashlight.  Every thirty seconds, Joe will flash his light into the tomb.  Velma will have thirty seconds to respond by turning her flashlight on and off, letting us know that she is still in control of her faculties.  If she fails to answer the light or fails to turn her light off within thirty seconds, she will be pulled from the tomb, immediately!  An ambulance and two attendants are standing by, prepared to rush Velma to the hospital if anything unforeseen happens.”  Fagan explains.

Velma, at this point, makes her entrance to the floor, accompanied by the nurse and trainer.  The fans, encouraged by Fagan and Schnoz, give her a rousing welcome.  The applause increases as Velma removes her robe, exposing a beautiful black one piece bathing suit, a direct contrast to her blonde hair and fair skin.

“You know the rules, Velma.  We have gone over them very carefully.  You know that you must answer the light Joe flashes into the tomb within thirty seconds.  If you are unable to do this or if you are unable to turn the light off you will immediately be pulled out of this tomb of ice.  Do you understand?” Fagan emphasizes.

Velma nods her head.

“Try your flas