J's Atonement

When the doors opened we walked to where the nurses were.  J walked up and asked for Mack’s chart, explaining that she was doing a consult.  The nurse, seemingly not caring about a thing, looked through some binders and handed one to J.  “He’s in room 412” she said and went back to doing something at her desk.  We walked slowly down the hall looking for Mack’s room.  When we got there, J told me to go in, and she waited at the door.  She took the clipboard and started writing.  With some hesitation, I opened the door and walked in.  Mack was awake and watching TV.  He had a tube running to his arm, and it looked like they were giving him blood.  As soon as he saw me he sat up in the bed with the most horrifying look on his face.  It was as if he thought I was going to kill him.  “Mack, I’m sorry.”  I stood there just looking at him and he stared at me with what looked like hate in his eyes.  “What are you doing here?”  “Mack I needed to see that you were all right.”  “All right, you almost killed me Lucy, what are you?”  I felt a tear on my cheek, as I stepped further into the room.  He slid to the side of the bed away from me.  I said I was sorry again and turned away.

“Wait.”  I stopped and as I turned around, I couldn’t help but cry.  “Lucy, what you told me last night, it’s true?”  I could only say yea, and looked down, not wanting to face him.  He then asked me what would happen to him.  “You’ll be all right.”  “All right?  You tell me you’re a vampire, you bite me and almost kill me.  What will happen to me?”  “Mack, you’ll be fine, nothing will happen to you.”  I thought about making him a vampire.  “Unless you want to have something happen.”  “Want to, want to.”  He said with disbelief in his voice.  “Why would I want something to happen to me?”  “Mack, I could make you like me, and we could be together.”  I said this softly to him.  “No.”  He yelled, “get out of here and leave me alone.  I don’t ever want to see you again.”  I had never felt such pain as I felt at that moment.  I had destroyed something good in my life.  The care he once had for me was gone.  I was no longer something he could care for.  I told him he could find out on the Internet about the virus and learn that nothing would happen to him.  “You will never see me again.”

I walked over to the window.  I looked out at the ground four floors below.  I would die, I thought.  I would end this now.  The door swung open and J yelled.  “Loo stop right there.”  Before I could move, she was beside me, and pulled me away from the window.  “I can’t bear this.”  “I know” she replied, and moved me toward the door.  She then looked at Mack, and said.  “This child did not choose this.  She did not mean to hurt you.  You are lucky that one such as she cares the least for you.  If the police find her, you do know what will happen, don’t you?”  Mack stared at her and then nodded.  J led me out of the room.  I would never see Mack again, I thought.  She told me to wait by the elevator and she took Mack’s chart back to the nurse.  We left the hospital in silence and walked into the night.