To Know Å Fallen Angel
by
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To Know Å Fallen Angel is the true coming of age story of how a young boy tries not to become a sexual predator. Michael is a child who grows up in the heart of the poverty stricken
Michael escapes from the abusive household by using school as a refuge to protect him, and manages to preserve a balanced morality until the abuse becomes overwhelming and penetrates him physically and mentally. Michael tries to create a barrier in his mind between himself and the abuse but instead he experiences a mental breakdown. As he grows older, Michael embarks on a quest to understand his abuser and his developing self. Motivated by the desire to know the roots of his sexual abuse, Michael uses genealogical therapy to trace the events of his youth. Along the way he discovers a typology of the sexual predator, and identifies different types of sexual predators by classifying their methods, motivation and victimology.
By identifying the type of predator that abused him, Michael discovers how he himself developed sexual predatory behaviors and ultimately understands how the mind of one type of sexual predator functions. With the identification of the root source of his sexual abuse, the motivations behind it and the victimology, the specific type of sexual predator is caught in the nominological net. By understanding what has prevented him from perpetuating the same abuse on others Michael discovers possible treatment methods for the sexual predator, one of the most difficult criminals to treat. In the end Michael triumphs over his abuse, the urge to perpetuate it, and reconciles with his father to develop a relationship that was once lost.
Chapter I:
The Desire to Know
It was like a whisper that lands upon one’s eardrum but instead it was softly pressing against my lower back. I lay on the bed in my Fruit of the Looms with the white elastic and the fine blue stripe; as the pressing got stronger and stronger, I felt myself gain consciousness from a deep sleep gasping for air. As I opened my eyes I could feel a final thrust and a warm liquid substance land on my back. The room was cooled by the gentle wind blowing past the sound of fluttering curtains hanging from the open window near the bed.
There were arms above my shoulders and the smell of sweat wafting past my face turned to the side, as I lay there still and stiff. Oh so gently did a soft fabric wipe the warm liquid off my back and I see a cotton T-shirt drop out of a hand on to the floor beside the bed. The activity caused my body to tremble for I did not understand what was happening. The lace curtained French doors of the den were open before me as I lifted my head. A radio advertisement for Bold laundry detergent came from another room in the apartment and faded as a figure disappeared through the doors taking my innocence with it.
As I pushed upwards on my hands, I saw a Miller High Life sign displayed across the top shelf above the French doors. In front of the sign was an old rotating ironing machine. I rose from the single bed and moved closer to the doors, slowly turning the knob of the French door and entering the living room, afraid of what might be in th
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About the Book
To Know Å Fallen Angel is a true coming of age story about how a boy tries not to become a sexual predator. The subject matter is serious yet inspirational. The main theme of the book is the ability to triumph over the lasting effects of sexual abuse. The book explains what happened to the mind of a sexually abused child and takes its readers on an expedition through the mind of a sexual predator, as the story of a young boy’s life unfolds from chapter to chapter. This book gives readers more insight into the reality of sexual abuse, and the mind of a sexual predator.
About the Author
Bernard Amador was born in New York City and is the author of the novel Cyber-Eugenics: The Neural Code. He is the Supervising Crime Victim Caseworker for the Albany County Crime Victim and Sexual Violence Center. Dr. Amador has taught courses in forensic, abnormal and general psychology as an adjunct Instructor at The College of New Rochelle and the Borough of Manhattan Community College. He holds a Ph.D. from Northcentral University, an M.A. in Forensic Psychology from Sage Graduate School, a B.A. in Forensic Psychology from the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, and a B.A. in Philosophy from Purchase College. He interned with the Domestic Violence and Child Abuse Bureau of the U.S. District Attorney's Office in White Plains, New York, at the Mental Health Association of New York, and worked as a Forensic Case Manager with Treatment Alternatives to Street Crimes (T.A.S.C) of the Education and Assistance Program. Mr. Amador is a member of the American Psychological Association, and the American Psychology-Law Society. His research interests include a variety of forensic-related topics in the field of psychology. Recently he ran a survivor's writing workshop for ARIA (Awareness of Rape and Incest Through Art).He lives in New York City and upstate New York.