Chaffinch Charlie and Other Foibles
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The Chaffinch mob, descended that night on the Duke premises, Harry the Cat, climbed up the outside, through an open window, down the stairs and opened the front door, letting in Pork Rancid, big in the biceps, Terry the Tangler who like hitting people and of course Half Brain Harris who liked head butting walls. In no time they squired away Doreen, the Duke being smacked in the gums and having the Locarno Foxtrot on his ribs again, Ferdinand ran around like a headless chicken cocking a leg and farting all over the place in time to the music on his personal C.D.player.
The council of war was set in place after the carnage, the Splayed Chicken and Capstan Caruthers in full slap were sent out to the Costa lot, to retrieve Doreen, handsome remunerations would be paid and bonuses of great magnitude if they saw off Big Charlie unpleasantly.
In Chaffinch Charlie’s Doreen pretended that she did not know either of them, at time she was working behind the bar as it was early in the day, to early for the Fandango dancing. They were a great looking pair, The Splayed Chicken with a skirt up to the squeak, and a blouse opened to the squeak with her condiments hanging out, carefully covered in makeup. Capstan Caruthers was dressed a cross between Greta Garbo and
Marlene Dietrich, in long flowing trousers and cloche hat. With a cigarette holder between her lips, lids down, eye lashes long and luxurious this was especially down to the careful work by Sylvia Ann Summers N.V.Q. in eye makeup at The Toits Barrack, under the management Monsieur Taps Belgique from the Common Market, Huddersfield. Later in the day Capstan fell in to conversation with Big Charlie, who had been eyeing up The Splayed Chicken.
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About the Book
This is a moral nature, pertaining to the later part of the twentieth century. Proving the rule that “No good deed goes unpunished.”
Chaffinch Charlie is a gangster retired to the Cost A Lot, where he has a bar, in which he runs girls for profit. Charlie has over a long period, in and out of prison, develop certain a pragmatism, realizing that profit and power are the only weapons in today’s society. He has an N.V.Q. in maiming and brutality and works under the auspices of the Common Market. When his top girl runs off with a wealthy man and marries him, he is, to say the least, upset. He was fond of her, for she was, as he would say, helping his onions settle after he did a bit of maiming for a friend.
Through a chance burglary he finds out where she lives and decides to kidnap her son for large amounts of money.
Charlie one night has a dream, that he died and went to a Mince Heaven, the dream changed and he watched from the astral plane; his bones being taken from his body; then noticed that an architect had turned his arse into a bungalow. A family of four moved in.
Naturally he prayed for forgiveness and would mend his ways and free the kidnapped victim. When he woke in the morning and after going to the toilet, checking the pan, he knew that it was only a dream. He decided revenge on his previous employee, the lady that had run off to get married.
Naturally the conclusion to this story, is not good triumphing over evil, but dear old capitalism winning? But who wins?
About the Author
Jack Michael Weinblatt born in London, moved to Liverpool in the 1960s he was a contemporary of the Liverpool Poets and a founding member of The Scaffold. JMW first starting writing literature in 1960, he also composes Jazz for his band and paints oils.
Currently living on the border betwwen leafy Buckinghamshire and rural Berkshire which provides constant inspiration for much of his material. His North London and East End upbringing, the juxtaposition of a Working Class background in Jewish tailoring and Middle Class aspirations in surburdia lead to a surreal relationship.