The Keeper of My Heart Book Two

We rested after lunch until around three-thirty. It was then my turn to ask her, "Do you want to go walk the beach with me?"

Nicole didn’t act very enthused, but she did agree to go with me. I took my gift to her with me in my pocket. I had nowhere else to leave it, or hide it.

She was still so mad at me that we walked the beach not as slowly as I wanted to. I couldn’t help but tell her, "Nicole, I did nothing wrong this morning. I wish you would trust me."

Her first words to me since we left the condo were, "So, exactly what did you do after telling me you were going to check on my dad Ryan? Find a beautiful Hawaiian girl in a store and spend time having fun with her?"

"I’m not that stupid Ryan! I hate you! I know you just had to introduce yourself to some other girl in a skimpy bikini. You make me sick to my stomach! Maybe you really are a pervert like my dad thought you were. I can’t even stand to look at you. Don’t ever talk to me again. I don’t love you anymore!"

I’d never felt pain like that before, even the times I had to leave her. Never had my heart hurt as badly as it did at that moment. Having her think of me that way broke my heart. She stood in front of me red-faced, with what I could tell was true hatred. Her dark brown eyes stared at me. Holding her hands at her sides clenched into fists made me believe she wanted to physically hurt me too.

We stood in the sun staring at each other, each waiting for the other to make a move, any move. With her eyes darker brown than I had ever seen them before she continued to stare into mine, until I knew there was no hope.

Nicole and I had many times spoken words of love with our eyes. There was no love leaving her eyes to mine. The longer I stared into hers, the more hatred they emitted to mine.

Before I began to cry, I told her, "I love you Nicole."

Turning and running away, I ran past the first set of trees and halfway through the open stretch before not being able to run any farther. I never had been able to run like Nicole could, and running away from her hating me hadn’t left me with a desire to prove myself. I ran only to be out of her sight, so I wouldn’t see her looking at me like that any longer.

Someone had stolen the ocean, the sound of the waves, and the beautiful sky. Someone had also stolen my mind. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t feel anything except my chest being empty. Standing there crying, I asked myself if any one human being should be able to hurt another the way Nicole had just hurt me. I asked myself why I needed her to love me so very much, and why now that she hates me, why I still wanted and needed her to love me.

Turning completely around, I wasn’t surprised to see she hadn’t followed me, or that she wasn’t even looking my direction. Not feeling as if I deserved it, I wished I could see her down on her knee’s, her arms outstretched to me. I wished I could hear her voice calling me, telling me, "Ryan, come back."

My body shook realizing that all of our talk, all of our dreams were vanishing over something that stupid. Her words kept coming back at me. "I hate you! I don’t love you anymore!" Her words played over and over in my head like my moms antique records that skip, stuck in the same groove.

Clutching the silver velvet box that held my feelings for her, my hope for our future, I slowly began walking to the second set of trees. Sitting down, leaning my back against one of the almost black tree trunks, I opened the box to see Nicole’s rings shining in the sunlight.

Placing Nicole’s engagement ring on the little finger of my right hand I began crying again. How could everything fall apart so quickly? How could I have let this happen? Didn’t we really have what it takes to make it together? If something this stupid could break us up, I guess we didn’t.

Returning her rings to the velvet box, I snapped the lid shut hard. Beginning to stand up, I was determined never to see Nicole’s hatred for me again. I began the walk to the end, never feeling so alone before in my life.

Out of nowhere Nicole’s voice asked me, "What’s that in your hand? I saw you holding it earlier."

Shoving her rings deeply into my pocket I answered, "Nothing."

"What is it Ryan? Something your new girlfriend gave you?"

"No. Well, it was going to be a surprise for you."

I hadn’t looked at her yet, I was afraid I would see the same disgust of me in her eyes that I had seen before.