Waking the Angel
A Mindlord Novel
by
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He awoke in excruciating pain; something resembling giving natural child birth to a porcupine cross-bred with a full-grown gorilla; and it was stuck. It was carried through every receptor in his nervous system. Every single one competing to get to the brain first and inform it that the problem was in its sector, and it damn well better do something quick. His brain had other concerns. The burning desire to form a thought, which was contrary to popular belief, not ‘where the hell am I’ but rather ‘where in hell am I’. Of course that would have been his thought if he had any control over a single neuron in his cranial cavity, and in fact was his first thought when he found one. Screaming seemed the next logical direction to progress in, but that also required reflexive mental activity, and a faint recollection on the general vicinity of his vocal cords. The torture ceased abruptly, after what he could only surmise to be days… thirty-three seconds to be exact. They were there, surrounding him, staring at him with their large almond eyes and pale grey thin faces. They looked exactly like the government said they would not look even if they did exist, which they did not, “… it’s all just weather balloons and stuff, so let that be the end of that. Tea with sandwiches will be served in the reception area, but be forewarned, there are balloons in there so please do not panic.” One of the expert weather balloon pilots screeched. He had no idea which one; they were not using sound. The scream was inside his head. The words were like a tsunami, rolling in from the ocean and his mind was a pebble in its way. It smashed against his mind again and again. This time he did scream, cradling his head in his arms, pleading for the words to stop. A voice came. It was soft and smooth, a playful stream full of apology and comfort. The type that your boss would adopt and cause you to panic uncontrollably, because the next words from his mouth are going to be ‘unfortunately due to downsizing…’
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About the Book
Angel has always felt the world had it in for him, but now he realized the universe felt the same way. Abducted by your every day anal probing aliens, he found himself in a wonderful world where fantasy meets science fiction and mythology stands in for reality. Unfortunately he has little time for exploration between his training and discovering his destiny.
Finding that he has lost his mind, literally, and can now play tic-tac-toe against it seems of little comfort with so many unanswered questions plaguing him. Questions like who decorated his quarters and did he die painfully?
A difficult choice faces him; attempt to save the universe or attempt to save the earth. Joined on this futile quest by a size changing blue monkey, a magic spy, and a hammer wielding little person as well as two dangerous blonds, and a really dangerous little eight-year-old girl he is going to try his utmost to save something. At least he has Skibladne; the amazing ship of legends, to ensure someone is going to be envious of him before the end. An end that might well have occurred two weeks ago and everybody know time travel is a myth.
About the Author
The author, shortly after being hatched, proceeded to lead the life that would constitute the fantasies of most parentally supervised mental midgets.
He managed a miraculous escape from the festivities at university with his mind mostly intact. He then became an instructor on special weapons, attended the Military Academy and survived Special Forces.
An epiphany or two later he found that he preferred the life of a wealthy nerd dodging viruses to a poor jock dodging bullets and descended into the world of bytes where he soon reached the top of his profession as a senior technical architect.
In this time he managed to raise cheetahs, race huskies, do modelling, fling himself from serviceable airplanes and scuba with those teeth with fish.
Having been told that he has actually lived a quite interesting life for a hamster, he began to write his autobiography. This was however received with more than expected scepticism and he decided to rather reposition this novel to be published in the genres of fantasy, science fiction, science and mystery.
He unfortunately lives on and has vowed to deposit more of these literary masterpieces on the unsuspecting public.