How To Die
or The Good Gatsby
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
Now,
When a person (or malignant land lump) dies, he/it gets to keep his/its name, and in our case that’s Helens. Then when this person/land lump commits a “posthumous” miracle (like writing Billy Budd) he/it becomes a Bl. (if the Pope makes him one.) This is when he/it adds Bl. to his/its name, making him/it a Bl., in our case Bl. Helens.
After a few years, if this person/landmass keeps up the good work, it’s possible for him/it to achieve St. Hood. This is done by attaining a majority of the electoral votes of all the states in the
Now, the third level of canonization is the toughest to achieve. I’m not exactly sure how someone/thing achieves it, but surely sharing a birthday with me and Pope John Paul II helps a lot.
Anyway, when someone/thing achieves Mt. Hood, he/it is allowed to keep his/its previous name (St. Helens) and adds the title Mt. to the front of it. It’s a very sacred and time-honored tradition that we should not try to overanalyze.
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About the Book
How would you want to go? Quietly? Painlessly? With your boots on? Haven't really thought about it? Fortunately, one man has. In How to Die, have a peek at a few fatalistic daydreams from a creative mind. With a little death and a lot of humor, these stories will keep you laughing and
guessing till the very end, with lots of fun along the way.
Death can scare us, sadden us, and sometimes, it can be really, really
funny. Take a little trip to the edge of the afterlife in 12 hilarious different ways, from falling off the Eiffel Tower to falling in with an ill-fated bunch of lemmings.
So sit back, extend your life with laughter, and enjoy the ride. Read carefully, though, and if you're relaxing with this book on the beach, or maybe on a nice park bench, do keep an eye out for the wolves. . .
"This book is dang hilarious." - Chris Bevis, Asst. Video Game Store Manager
About the Author
If there is anyone Wm. Douglas Warren hates, it’s F. Scott Fitzgerald. Not his writing, no Warren loves that. It is the fact that Fitzgerald selfishly stole The Great Gatsby for himself. Now even if someone else wanted to write The Great Gatsby and had come up with it on his own, word for word, he couldn’t, because F. Scott Fitzgerald ruined it for everyone. Frankly, no one even knows what the heck a Gatsby is, and then F. Scott Fitzgerald had to go and make his book the great one. He couldn’t have even settled for a good Gatsby, no he had to one up everybody.