Tall Tales By A Short Texan

            One bright sunny day on the north bank of the Rio Grande River, a man suddenly appeared in the middle of a large citrus grove. He was nearly overcome by the beauty and the fragrance of the scene. The ground was carpeted with a thick mat of grass, and many varieties of flowers grew in neat beds around the base of the trees. The man had a bewildered look on his face. He did not know what was happening. Suddenly he heard a loud voice calling:

"Adam, Adam."

"Who's that?"

 "This is God."

"God who?"

      "This is God. I am the one who made you and everything else that you see."

"What do you want?"

"I'm just checking to see that everything is all right."

       "Well, I haven't had much time to look around, but I like what I've seen so far."

"That's good. Do you have any questions?”

"Yes. Where am I and what am I doing here?"

      "You're in my garden in the Rio Grande Valley. I created you to have someone to talk to, and I want you to take care of my spread."

    "That sounds good, but what is a spread and what do you want me to do?"

    "My spread is this ranch and I want you to run it for me.  I've got a corral full of animals to be fed, grain to be harvested for food, a garden with vegetables for you to eat, and a grove of citrus fruit for you to look after."

"What're animals, birds, grain, vegetables and fruit?"

      "The animals are the four-legged creatures in the corral.  There are more animals down by the river, but they're allowed to run wild. The birds have feathers and wings so they can fly.  Grain is what you can see beyond the corral on the north forty.  Vegetables are grown in the garden inside the fence. And fruit is what you see hanging on those trees. There are lemons, tangerines, tangelos, oranges and grapefruit. The fruit is good to eat but they taste better if you peel them first."

"Thanks, I'll try to take care of everything."

 "Just one more thing, Adam, do you see that big tree in the center of the grove?"

"The one with the big fruit?"

      "Yes, that's a Ruby Red grapefruit. Adam, that is a very special tree, I want you to leave that tree alone."

       "That shouldn't be a problem. There's enough fruit on the other trees."

      "Good. Now we need to set up a work schedule.  You'll work six days, then take one day off. Today is Monday so you will work five more days, and then on Sunday you can sleep in, but do n