Savage, Inc.

So you may be askin’ yourself… Self, what’s our hero doin’ home on a Thursday night when he should be out prowling the streets lookin’ for villains?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  For starters, I’m tryin’ to get some sleep.  But it just wasn’t happenin’.  And honestly, I had no right to be frustrated.  My body wasn’t used to this.  Remember that circadian rhythm thing I mentioned a while back?  Yep… thrown outta whack again.  Such is life.

            I was flat on my back, on top of the covers, still too warm to sleep beneath ‘em.  I had been tossin’ and turnin’ for the last half hour, and was now staring blankly at the ceiling.  There was no way this was gonna work.  I was better off watchin’ TV and fallin’ asleep on the couch.  At least maybe my mind would stop racin’… and I could get some much-needed rest.

            I only had to work half a day today.  Went in about six and punched out before eleven.  I’d be back at Station 12 around nine a.m., makin’ final arrangements for tomorrow’s trip to Franklin County.  Gayle and I were heading back for a follow-up as part of a joint venture between the F.A.P.A. and the FBI.  Phelan wasn’t crazy about the Feds’ involvement this time, but I told him it was a great recruiting opportunity, and he seemed to agree.  I thought that Gayle had the chops to make it as a FAPA agent, and considering she had been exposed, not once but twice, to our world, she was a suitable target.  This trip would be a good chance to measure her potential.

            Anyway, back to my sleep deprivation…

            I got out of bed and took a piss.  Well, I walked to the bathroom first, of course.  It would’ve been extremely unsanitary of me to take a leak on the bedroom floor.  Not that I hadn’t done it as a kid, but I was an adult now who was quite capable of hitting the toilet without spilling a drop.  Information you really didn’t need, but I thought I’d tell you anyway.

            I was wide awake, especially after draining my bladder, so I sat down on the couch and turned on the tube, then surfed through about a hundred programs before settling on the Food Channel.  They were makin’ some broccoli recipe, and although I wasn’t much of a broccoli guy, this looked pretty tasty.  Maybe someday if I was bein’ courageous, I’d make it.

            So I stretched out on the couch and wrapped myself in the afghan blanket my grandmother had made, and tried to catch some z’s.  I turned the TV volume to low hoping the ambience would be enough to send me into slumber.  I was just startin’ to doze off when I heard a noise out on the balcony.  It was a strange tapping sound, which was soon followed by a thud and a crash, as if something had fallen into the sliding glass door.  Reflexively I sprung off the couch into a defensive position, wondering if something was gonna come smashing through the glass.

            Suddenly, everything was quiet.  I was completely still, tuning out the television and focusing solely on the balcony.  The blinds were drawn, so I couldn’t see what, if anything, was on the other side.  Moments later I heard somethin’ scrape against the railing, followed by another thud.  Then it was quiet again.