People Would Buy Tickets

Maybe women should run the world.  Men have had their shot, and they are not showing any clear cut dominance or talent for it just yet.  After all, women have half the money now, and they have always had all the pussy.  If that is not the combination of the two most powerful things on the planet, I do not know what is.  The trouble with this line of thinking is that there are many powerfully intelligent women in the world that think the human race can survive without men.  Man as a gender or sub-species, might not last long if those women were in power.

What is questionable moral character (QMC)?  Do all Marines have it?  Does everybody have it?  Whose perspective counts?  If somebody questions you, does that make you questionable?  The individual in question will usually say they do not have QMC.  Others may say they do.  I guarantee that most folks out there have had somebody question their moral character at one time or another.  Hell, folks even questioned Jesus Christ’s moral character.  That being the case, who does not have questionable moral character?

My name is Hector Batiste.  Daddy said it “Bat”, like the flying mammal, and “Teest”, long e in the middle, with the silent e on the end.  Friends call me Heck.  You might guess from my name that I am of Hispanic descent.  You would be right.  My father’s father was half Mexican, and that makes me an eighth Hispanic.  Do not ask me what the rest is, because I have no fucking clue.  I may be part Hispanic, but about the only Spanish I know is Tengo un gato de vente cinco libras en me pantelones.  If I said that correctly, I have a 25 pound cat in my pants.

A friend in the Corps gave me my first valuable Spanish lesson; He said to tell the waitress,

“Dos Cervesas, por favor.”

I said, “Hey, doesn’t dos mean two?”

He replied, “Yes, you’re buying me one for the lesson.”

Above all things, I am an Old Corps Marine, and I place tremendous value on honor, integrity, and credibility, even though I sometimes struggle at maintaining them.  I was born on April 14^th, the day the Titanic struck the iceberg…the same day President Lincoln was shot…Pete Rose’s birthday.  It is not outside the realm of possibility that I have a dark shadow hanging over my life.  I should not be surprised that on the day of my birth, 14 April, 1954, the British Charts had Doris Day’s Secret Love listed as their number one song.  Perhaps this was a bad omen.

There are three things I have faith in that I can not see:  God, gravity, and electricity.  I am a simple guy, and I can live with that.  I like money, but I do not want to work very hard for it.  I love getting drunk, but I do not like hang-overs.  I love pussy, but I do not like women.  That could be interpreted in a lot of ways.  What I really mean is, I do not want them to talk to me or have needs when I am finished.  Do not lay with me, do not cuddle, just go away.  If you want, you can leave me your number; make me a sandwich or a pot-pie before you go, but go.  I have shit to do that does not involve you.