Unlikely Allies: 8 Steps to Bridging Divides that Impact Leadership

We are ALL connected - whether we believe it or want to believe it or not. History was not one of my favorite subjects in high school and college. I regret that now. I remember telling a college history professor one day that I didn’t care for history growing up, and he looked at me as if I had slapped him in the face. You see, I didn’t see the relevance of history and learning about people, things and events that happened hundreds of years ago. I wish I’d had a history teacher/professor during that time that made the subject more interesting and compelling. Maybe I would have taken more of an interest. I realize that I’ve missed out on having a better and clearer understanding of what’s happening in our world today. But I’m trying to play catch up.

Leaders should recognize that we are all connected. Whether it’s through education, politics, crime, economics, social issues, health, community, faith-based — no matter. We are all connected. That is one of the messages I try to exhibit and illustrate through my weeknight radio program. My topics are varied, something my listeners love. They love the diversity of topics and hearing from experts on a variety of subjects. It’s all connected.

Our minds need to embrace that when one neighborhood has a disproportionate amount of crime, sooner or later that impacts other neighborhoods. When there is a 50% high school dropout rate in a community, it impacts everyone. When teenage pregnancy skyrockets, it impacts more than the teenage mom and her immediate family. When obesity in children becomes an epidemic, like it is today, that impacts all of us.

A World Traveler

I have had a rich life. I was born into a military family. One of my brothers, James, and I were born in Hampton, Virginia. Less than three years later, we moved to Bremerhaven, Germany, and lived there for three years. Our next tour was four years in Italy. We then moved stateside for one year when my father had to go to Vietnam. During that year my family lived in Augusta – East Augusta. I went to Hornsby Elementary School for one school term. I remember it vividly.

After my father returned we moved to Key West, Florida, where my other brother, Darrell, and sister, Pamela, were born exactly a year apart. We lived there three years. My father’s next assignment was Brindisi, Italy, where we lived for four years before moving to Okinawa, Japan, for five years. My father’s last tour in the United States Air Force was in San Antonio, Texas where we lived for three years.

Having to move and live in different places, in different parts of the world, every two to five years was a way of life for us. Learning and building relationships with people from all walks of life was the norm for me and my family. Living in a culture different than ours was captivating, energizing, fun and educational. If I had to do it all over again, I would do it exactly the same. Moving around the way we did forced us to accept people for who they were, not judge because they were different than us. It enabled us to simply interact with people from all shades and colors in a way that didn’t put the terms “black and white” in our mindset as we went from day to day. This life experience taught me leadership skills that I use today.

Coming Home

In April 1975, my father said it was time to come home. That meant Augusta, Georgia. That had been home for my parents because they were raised there. But it became home for me and my siblings after having lived all over the world our entire life. We lived a diverse life, and I would travel to the same places all over again and live that life if I had to do it again. Having the opportunity to travel and meet different people taught me to adjust and accept people for who they were. Impactful leaders must learn to adjust and accept people for who they are.

That is the way I live my life now. I don’t know any other way. Despite that, I believe people see color when they look at a person. Not necessarily intentionally, and not necessarily in a prejudiced way. I see color when I walk into a room. I see color when I’m planning an event. I see color when I’m asked to serve on a Board. I want to see color — different colors. Diversity is a good thing. It’s important especially since we’re living in the 21st Century.

Jesus recognized the need for blending opposites

He knew that his disciples would face a difficult and hostile world where they would confront the recalcitrance of political officials and the intransigence of the protectors of the old order. He knew they would meet cold and arrogant men whose hearts had been hardened by the long winter of traditionalism.

And he gave them a formula for action: "Be ye therefore as wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” We must combine the toughness of the serpent with the softness of the dove, a tough mind and a tender heart.