Body Language

Self-presentation is a core impression management skill. The ability to manage our image is primarily due to elective body language. We elect how we wish to present ourselves to meet the demands and expectations of others. With the possible exception of a few existing cultures that are “anti-modern” and highly repressive, most people are able to elect how they want to appear to others through a process of self-monitoring. Using their freedom of expression, people are able to build their “image” around a myriad of things such as clothes, accessories, hairstyle, makeup, the influences of their environment, and so on. In fact, one might plausibly say that everything people do contributes to an image they contrive for themselves, including self-defeating behavior at times.

The good news is that often it is easier to fix the perception of a problem than the problem. Whole industries are built around this premise. Thus, the image that most people have is usually not a rigid, static, and preformed one for all occasions, but a flexible set of self-expression tools and accessories that fit different circumstances.

Realistically, behavior is too complex for one single thing to create a believable image, but when people join several things together, an overall elective image begins to take shape. The most important requirement of an overall image, is that it be logical, since everything must make sense together.

Social interaction in different situations sometimes calls for people to change something about themselves for specific effect. In such cases, people are better off relying on observational learning instead of haphazard trial and error to make beneficial changes.

People tend to imitate those persons who already have a desirable image; consequently, much of their image derives from the “remarkably pedestrian” observation of others in similar situations. In the childhood stages of development, most elective body language is actually the result of watching our parents. Later on, people imitate their peer group and others they see in the media.

The first step to the correct use of elective body language is how best to communicate our best image. Since nonverbal communications are best between "equals”, we need to mirror and match each other to become “soul mates”. The more we become like another, the more commodious we are, which leads to higher concentration levels and warmer relationships.

A good example of what I am talking about is the regional sales clerk who hopes to impress others. In such cases, they should take into consideration where they are going to be when they pick out their war-drobe. Most men today are turning away from flashier clothing for something more conservative. 

It is not a good idea to wear an art deco tie, an Italian-cut suit, and Gucci suede shoes in most parts of the country because they are too pre-tentious. Cut out large distracting jewelry, like the gold necklaces worn by “Mr. T” on the A Team, in favor of smaller, discreet, and less ostentatious jewelry.