How To Get a Man, Keep a Man, and Marry a Man; In No Particular Order

DO EARN HIS R-E-S-P-E-C-T It is Rule#1!! I lost my virginity at the age of twenty, and for the next two years, I went on a sexual binge as I went through woman after woman. I was young, good looking, charismatic, witty, funny, athletic and muscular. I could have had and did have any woman that I wanted, because they made it easy and spoiled me rotten. I could have them when I wanted, how I wanted, and wherever I wanted. I was hardly ever denied and usually in the sack with them the same night, or at the very worst, within a week. Sex was all that I wanted, because women were new to me. I wanted to experience sex with a woman and then to move on to the next one; that’s all I cared about. That was until I met my wife in February of 1988. I actually wasn’t going to confront her, had it not been for a couple of friends that I was with that thought she was hot and told me that they were going to holla at her. Well, I was not going to let that happen. I was the Don Juan of the bunch and if anyone was going to talk to her, it was going to be me. After approaching her, I did in fact observe how cute she was and what it was that my friends saw in her, but still for me, it was just a competitive thing. After a couple of minutes of chit-chat, she gave me her phone number. Of course my initial thought was to lay her as quick as possible and move on to the next woman. I had no interest in a relationship at the time. I started calling her the next day and after a few minutes, I realized that she was sweeter than any woman I had ever met. To make a long story short, because this book is not about me, it’s about you and getting your man, but in a nut shell, my wife, even though she thought I was charming, didn’t give in easily to me, and it was four months before we slept together, which was an eternity for me. I thought she was absolutely crazy as I thought, “This woman doesn’t want this fine, charismatic, intelligent, and handsome man? Something is wrong with her.” In other words, she made me respect her before giving me her body. I actually got to know her and what she was all about, before having sex with her, and ultimately, I ended up asking her hand in marriage, because I knew that she was a woman that respected herself, and even more so, she made me respect her. We have now been married for twenty-two years. We’ve had our problems and even endured a long separation, but we have proven that through time, that love truly conquers all!! So many women, especially nowadays, jump in the sack too quickly with a man. They think that the only or best way to keep a man is to sleep with him. Trust me, that is the quickest way to get rid of him. By sleeping with a man too quickly, you have done nothing to separate yourself from any other woman. You have shown him that there is nothing special about you and that you are just a freak. You may not be, but that is how he is going to perceive you. Sure, it may even turn into a relationship or a fling, but will it last? Maybe so- maybe not, but if you really want to keep a man interested, then you have to make him wait, and if he leaves, he wasn’t worth it anyway. If a man truly is in love with your heart and with you as a person, than he won’t go anywhere, so be patient. I don’t care how fine you think he is or how much money he makes, how impressed you are by his worldly possessions and how much you want to sleep with him, you have to make him respect you and get to know you. If you sleep with him too quickly, you will never know if he is with you because you are a good lay, or if he is really loves with you as a person. DON’T START PETTY ARGUMENTS OR BE A CONSTANT DEBATER Here is the bottom line. A lot of times when guys make a comments, it is just that, a comment. It doesn’t always require feedback or debate. I remember one time when I was in a football pool at work. While at home, I just made the comment while scoring my sheet, “Teams sure are unpredictable.” My wife then replied, “What do you mean?” I then said, “Well, the teams that you expect to win, don’t win.” Her next reply was, “Well, if the teams that you expect to win don’t win, then that makes them predictable.” I was like “Huh?” And she repeated herself. I was just making an in general comment and she turned it into a two hour debate. I was like “Good Grief!!”. Again, when a guy makes a comment, it does not always require feedback. Just a simple “Okay.” will do, or don’t say anything at all. He will let you know if it requires elaboration. Try not to be so argumentative as it can cause a lot of undue stress in a relationship. DO TRUST HIM I know that this may be difficult for a lot of you women out there, but you have to trust him, no matter how much you have been hurt in the past. The worst thing you can do is accuse him when you have no foundation or proof that he has been unfaithful to you. Don’t listen to your friends or family as to what they thought they saw or heard, and for that matter, listen to no hearsay. You must realize that some friends, and yes, even family will get jealous and will try to poison your mind about your new found romance. Remember, misery loves company, so unless you have legitimate proof about your boyfriend’s loyalty or lack thereof, then you should trust him. DON’T ASK FOR MONEY Nothing will scare a guy off quicker than asking him for money, especially only an hour, a day, a week, or even a month, after meeting him. I have met women that have asked me to get their hair done on a first date. I have had women to ask me to pay their rent or car note on the first date. I have had women that have asked me to buy their kids some pampers or formula before a date even took place. You want to run a guy away quickly, than ask him for some money. I don’t care how broke you are, this is not how to catch a man, because the first thing that is going to come to his mind is that you are just after his money. He may in fact, be only after one thing also and therefore give into your demands, but as soon as you give up the cootchie, he will be long gone. You were broke and making it before you met him, so continue to be broke. Don’t ask a man for money, and better yet, even if he offers to do for you, then turn his offer down. This will send a message to him that you aren’t after his money and that you really do like him as a person. The only time you should accept anything from a man is if he has already bought something for you and is trying to give it to you, at which point you accept, thank him and tell him that he didn’t have to do that and then give him a soft peck on the cheek. DO SHOW APPRECIATION On that note, another big mistake that women make is not being appreciative. People like to feel appreciated, so this goes for both parties, but since this is a woman’s book, this advice is for you ladies. You have to make a man feel appreciated and wanted, as sex is not always the answer. Sometimes, just a simple card to say thanks, or even a rose will suffice, that’s right, a rose. Believe it or not, most guys don’t mind getting flowers; we are just too macho to ask for them. If a guy that you’re interested in, texts or calls, and tell you that he sent you an E-mail, then by all means read it and respond to him. A no-response says that you don’t care, not interested, not impressed, didn’t like it, etc. etc. etc. Respond to the man and tell him how nice it was or that you received it and thank him, but by all means, don’t ignore him. DON’T ALWAYS LET HIM PAY FOR THE DATE While dating or in a relationship, don’t always let him pay for dinner. You either share the bill or offer to pay sometimes. That was another thing that impressed me with my wife. She was the first woman I dated that offered to pay for the date and she was only nineteen when I met her; I was twenty-one. Also, open the car door for him sometimes, especially if you are driving; i