Plankton Soup
Second Helping
by
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PROBLEMS WITH A MECHANICAL FLANGE, LEMON SOAP AND AN UNWATCHED KETTLE Well, as you can imagine, I had to laugh. There was I, trying to teach a three legged rhinoceros how to peel a banana, when in comes the boss on an antique motorbike dressed as panto´s Mother Goose, shaking a giant tambourine which he had previously stolen off a hunch-backed Morris dancer, and shouting in a defunct Uzbek dialect “You´re all fired, now get your coats and sling your respective hooks!” And that’s basically how I ended up inventing the Mechanical Flange. (Reader's voice- "I fail to see the connection.")
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About the Book
In “Plankton Soup (Second Helpings)” Sutton has fused recurring themes such as Life, death, religion, war, romance, sociology, sexual orientation, mythology, genitalia, science fiction, vaudeville theatre, politics (vaudeville theatre again), geography, medical ethics, philosophy, black magic, fashion, cinematography, art, music, history, quantum physics, chemistry, literature, micro-biology, comic fantasy, contemporary culture, foreign languages, archaeology, mental illness, umbrella stands and biscuits. I am disappointed; I expected much more from this so-called genius writer. SOCRATES
About the Author
Grant Sutton (not his real name) lives in Godalming (not a real place), Surrey. He is married to an Eskimo who is a direct descendant of Genghis Khan. He has been a bodyguard for Hilary Clinton’s lobster and is on handshaking terms with a werewolf. He has worked for the Foreign and Commonwealth Office and once declined a medal from the Queen. He has worked in a glue factory in Oldham (Home of the tubular bandage) and has been to a nudist colony with a Princess on a bicycle.(Not in Oldham). He has rubbed shoulders with the Worlds top dignitaries (As a masseuse in a Berlin brothel) and is a distant relative of a senior Capone gang member. He has hunted pirates in the Indian Ocean and tried his hand at bodybuilding (He intends to try the rest of his body soon). He has been stuck in an elevator with Pele and been ignored at the Beverley Hills Polo Lounge by John Cleese and Ricky Gervais. At least Pele smiled politely. He has twice appeared in theatre wearing nothing but a G String, only once legally. (The author, not Pele!) “Plankton Soup Second Helpings” is the follow up to his first book, the soon-to-be-a-blockbusting-movie (any day now, surely!) “Plankton Soup” and he intends to write many more, unless arrested in the meantime.