Pathways to Joy in Marriage

Can we understand the intensely profound love that we must move towards in our marriages, to sacrifice our lives for each other even as Jesus Christ sacrificed Himself for us? The closer we get to this standard set before us, the richer and more loving our marriages will be. Of course, we need to know the character of our Elder Brother to really understand that love. We have so few clear examples of His nature in our day-to-day experiences, even within our families, but I would like to share one with you. You might consider this a small and insignificant example, but it pictures the mind of the Savior in a very intimate way. About 20 years ago I was traveling to Europe, stopping at New York Kennedy Airport to transfer to an overseas connection. Getting to the flight required a long walk and devious detours through that poorly designed facility. At one point I had to descend an escalator into sort of a pit, with several elevators that took passengers to aerial trains a few stories up. As I recall, the escalator went down only, so there was no other way to escape this place but to have the correct change for the pay elevator. I had no coins and it was near midnight, so I pictured myself waiting there in that barren, cold room until morning when someone else might come by, missing my connection, and in any case facing a night of misery and discouragement. Suddenly a group of chattering young ladies, in their late teens or early twenties, obviously local New Yorkers, moved down the escalator towards me. Their coming did little to ally my concerns that any help out of this awful predicament was forthcoming. Then suddenly one of the young ladies, quite dark skinned and modishly dressed, sized up my dilemma. In a flash she produced the coins I needed and handed them to me — saying that was enough to get me up to the trains. I thanked her, and then they vanished in another elevator, chattering as they left. Dumbstruck, I inserted the coins, just enough for the ride up. I made the flight connection and was on my way … because of a total stranger who knew the need to love, who considered me better than herself, who eased the suffering of her fellow man in a world she knew was not fair and lacked forgiveness. This was the mind of Christ. I have never forgotten that night in New York City, but countless other events through life have revealed the mind of Christ: an admittance official who granted entrance to the university, a father who for once in his life hugged his son after being told his car now rested on a snowbank in the ditch, a daughter who tearfully hugged me in thanks for not rejecting her after some horrible mistake, a college friend who understood my weaknesses and would not desert me when the chips were down, and a wife who thanks me for marrying her. “You really took a chance when you chose me,” she says; no, I think it was the other way around. Who made marriage? Almighty God did. He made it because He wants to multiply sons in Christ's own image to be kings and priests and to reign on the earth. Of course, we will continually have instant access to heaven (the spirit realm) and the persons and powers in it for eternity. None of us are qualified to be proper parents, but we must pray that the Eternal will make up for our deficits and help reap the joys of the Almighty in our homes. A father, a mother, children, a home, a small farm … the makings of a kingdom on earth: that can be a goal we all strive for. When Sandy and I were first married, I expected we would be operating the home farm for the rest of our days. God did not see things that way but had other plans, and it is His plans which we must all strive to follow. We now are farmers — small farmers, but workers of the soil and the plants that grow from it nonetheless — and have the blood of Adam in us, who dressed and kept the Garden of Eden. We have built our own little kingdom here on the earth during the few days we have to live in the flesh. Praise be to Him!