Power vs. Perception: Ten Characteristics of Self-Empowerment for Women

Personal Story In a book such as this, I think it's important to share my personal story because by applying these characteristics of self-empowerment in some form or another I was able to overcome the many challenges I faced throughout my own life. I learned a real long time ago that “when life gives you lemons you make lemonade” and I was able to face some very difficult times, get through them; and survive and thrive. This hasn't been an easy journey; however, I wouldn't trade one of my “todays” for one of my “yesterdays” because life just keeps getting better and better. Early Career in Corporate America Early in my career in corporate America, I was fortunate that I worked for a large corporation where it was ingrained in the culture to support the career development of their employees through internal movement and promotion within the firm. As a result, even though I began my career there with about five years' experience as an administrative assistant at various companies and a high school and a technical school diploma, I was hired in an “entry-level,” clerical position. I started as a typist in a typing pool and advanced quickly through several administrative assistant-type roles within the human resource department. After several years I worked my way “up through the clerical ranks” and was promoted to the managerial levels where I held several individual contributor roles in the training and development department of human resources. In my last role I taught courses on leadership, management, effective communications skills, teambuilding and various professional development skills. I also had the opportunity to travel extensively while delivering these training programs. This organization provided me with a great career and I loved my job. In addition, I had the opportunity to participate in excellent educational and professional development programs. In these programs I learned many valuable skills, techniques; and an especially increased awareness of human and group dynamics. Mainly, however, as a result of these professional development opportunities, I came away with an increased awareness of myself and the areas in which I struggled with my own self-development, thought patterns and communications. I learned that in many instances throughout my life and career that there were times when, even though others involved in the situation may have been “wrong,” my own behaviors and responses to the situation at hand exacerbated the immediate problems and, at times, made them worse. The result was that I felt like a “victim” in the situation and “rationalized” my own behaviors; whether they were appropriate for the situation or not. “When you develop self-awareness, you will adjust your reactions and gain better control over your situation.” Growing Up as the “Big Sister” At this point I think it's important to explain a little more about myself on a personal level. I am the oldest of five children; and I was the only girl; I have four younger brothers. I learned at an early age I was expected to “take care” of others. My father was a violent, abusive alcoholic and the family lived in constant “terror” with the stress of never knowing which one of us would be the next target of his rage. I grew up with the characteristics typical of a child growing up in this type of environment and had no idea how to communicate with another human being. Learning and education were not rewarded in my family. I was expected to go to school, do my work and stay out of trouble. I made it through school with average grades; I always passed all my subjects - I was “afraid” what would happen to me at home if I didn't. When I was in high school I had the first opportunity to “excel.” I was in a school-to-work program in which students from various schools got to compete in subject-related contests regarding the Free Enterprise System of Marketing and Distribution. I didn't want to compete in any of the contests, but I had a good teacher at the time, who saw that I had potential and made it a requirement that I compete in one of the contests. I selected the contest for merchandise display. To my surprise, I “won” first place in my state; which qualified me to go on for National competition where I “won” third place in the Nation. The fact that I “won” these awards showed me that I that I could be successful. I became interested in education and decided this was the direction I wanted my career to go in. Surely it was obvious that I had the qualifications for a position in this field. As a result I got a part-time assistant position in the display department of a large, local department store. I did well and liked my work. Upon graduation, I applied to various other stores and in each instance I was told that I could not be hired because I was a girl. One manager said, “If you were a `boy,' I'd hire you in a minute, but I can't hire you because you're a girl.” It was the first time I encountered sex discrimination and at the time there was no recourse. I wanted to go to college; however my parents had no money to pay for it so I took a sales associate position with the same department store. I liked it but never really felt like I was reaching my potential; I always felt like I should have been doing something better. Living “Happily Ever After” - NOT! The year I turned 20, in an effort to “escape” the situation at home and because I was pregnant, I married a man I had known for about six months. The pregnancy occurred as a result of “date-rape” and, at the time I was so naïve that I didn't even understand what had happened to me… until about ten years later when I read an article on date-rape in a women's magazine.