Metamorphosis:
A Poetry Manual for Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
by
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Poetry speaks in the many voices I need to express the fears and heartbreaks of my child self, the struggles of my adolescent being far beyond the norm of self-searching and rebellion, the uncertainty of my trembling bride persona, and my evolving adulthood. Poetry synthesizes the fragments of my life that never dared to visit one another. Poetry crystalizes insights that I never knew I had and verbalizes feelings that I never allowed myself to experience. Poetry touches the core of truth in ways that a mere recitation of facts could never do, because poetry concerns itself more with verity of impact than with accuracy of detail.
The poems in this book do not constitute an autobiography, for, while they are essentially true and presented more or less chronologically, they are, first and foremost, poetry, which, by nature, contains an element of the imagination and a revelation of the universal. The medium of poetry allows me the paradox of both proximity and distance. I can stand intimately close to the emotion of my situation, while at the same time I can maintain enough distance from the intensity of my feelings to be able to withstand them. Poetry is intense; because of its brevity, it has to be. A twenty-line poem may equal approximately twenty pages of very powerful prose. The reader will quickly discover that these pages must be consumed in very small doses, one or two poems at a sitting. They need to be digested slowly, and that process is an exhausting one. They will be seasoned with many tears and they will be translated into the reader’s own language by bringing her closer to herself than they do to me. Indeed, the author of these poems will disappear completely in those pieces that truly touch the reader’s heart.
The language of my poems is highly accessible, as I write for communication with sister survivors, not for critics or poets. It is, nevertheless, fine poetry that employs a wide variety of technique and standard literary tools, but the images are clear and straightforward. The poems are still, however, highly interpretable, and herein lies the true gift from me to the reader. If these poems were nothing more than my story, I would write them only for myself and not for publication, but they represent much more than my own personal history; they chronicle the process of healing from sexual abuse, following the common steps that take us from injury to wholeness.
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About the Book
Metamorphosis: A Poetry Manual for Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse is designed to lead the reader to self-awareness and self-expression. The chapters are arranged chronologically, guiding the reader through early childhood, adolescence, courtship and marriage, body issues, and into recovery. Each chapter begins with remarks that provide personal context and ends with writing prompts that lead the reader to think about her own situation, to react emotionally, and to write poems in expressing her own story and emotions. As the reader becomes a writer, she will find the voice she needs to experience healing.
Written over the three-year course of psychotherapy, Metamorphosis is a book of transformation. The frightened, distrustful child becomes a confident adult, capable of active participation in life and relationships. She can look at her history and claim it as her truth and cast aside the pretense and lies that she had formerly been forced to live. She can separate herself from her abuser and hold him accountable for his actions, freeing herself from the blame that had wrongfully been placed upon her. She can find the happiness and satisfaction she deserves.
This book can be a valuable tool to use in conjunction with or following professional therapy. It can be used not only by survivors of childhood sexual abuse, but also by their partners in life, their friends and family, educators, law enforcement personnel, religious counselors, and even by abusers or potential abusers. Anyone who wishes to understand the effects of childhood sexual abuse can gain much insight by considering the pages of Metamorphosis: A Poetry Manual for Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse.
About the Author
Robyn Apffel is a survivor of sexual abuse, who spent twenty years of her life actively working in counseling to resolve her childhood issues. During the final three years of psychotherapy, she used her own poetry as the backbone of her remediation, and in so doing, she finally found the voice that would heal her wounds. Writing her story freed her emotions, allowing her to put her past to rest.
Robyn has published her poetry in the form of a manual in order to help sister survivors in their quest for healing. It is her hope that by reading this book and by using the writing prompts to write their own stories, others will discover their own voices more quickly and move on to a resolution of the painful issues in their lives.
Robyn is a retired middle school teacher and lives with her husband of forty-five years in New Jersey. In addition to writing, she enjoys traveling, art, music, cooking, photography, and visiting gardens and arboreta. She is especially proud of her three sons, who have all grown to be responsible and independent adults and devoted husbands.