This Is My Story, This Is My Song
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This is my story, this is my song...praising my Savior all the day long! This line is continuously going through my thoughts as I begin this book about the unexpected loss of Emilie, my 18-year-old daughter.
Our church was getting ready to start a 21-day corporate fast at the beginning of 2014, and it just so happened to begin on January 2nd which means it had been exactly four months since she had been gone. Weeks before the fast the Holy Spirit started dealing with me and revealing things to my spirit, and I started recalling events or emotions from the last four months. It was like a movie in my head when I lay down at night. I have been commissioned by God to write my story-the good, bad, and ugly of the whole emotional process. I am to lay open my heart and share everything with those who need to know that they are not alone in their grief or in their thoughts. (Commission: to authorize, to send on a mission)
I just read an article last week posted on Facebook by a friend about a mother's grief, so I clicked on the link and read her story. Faith nor God was mentioned one time throughout the entire article. The story was depressing to me. How could anyone face this type of sorrow, grief, and mourning without Jesus holding them up while going through the worst days, weeks, and months of their life? A portion of this article talked about how she was truly hurt by those who called themselves her friends who (she felt) only abandoned her in the time of her grief when she actually needed them the most. It made me wonder who she surrounded herself with, because my experience has been the total opposite. I felt love and support from those around me, reacquainted with old friends on a deeper level, and even made new, deeper God-based friendships. Lastly, she stated that there are hardly any books on the loss of a child, which is why she wrote the article in the first place. It seemed like further confirmation of what God had already placed in my heart to do.
One thing I do know is that my experience is mine and MINE alone, and no one will have the same. It's like fingerprints. We may have common aspects, but we are created as individuals. Grief is a very personal and singular progression. My husband, Joe and son, Peyton are totally different than I am. They are quiet and keep their grief to themselves most of the time. I am hoping they are emotionally okay, because I can't tell what is going on in their heads. Whereas I am totally comfortable talking about what happened and how I feel. However, starting from the beginning and writing it down is going to be tough, because I have to relive it all and try to put into writing those emotions that I have already worked through. Most likely I will face new ones in the process.
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About the Book
“I felt a shift in my grieving as it went from earthly bound to heavenly bound; I could smile at just the thought of the day when I would see her face to face. I no longer cried because I wanted her back in my world, but I looked forward to the day that I would join her in her, new world. My heart-cry was gone and replaced with the peace of knowing that this earthly life is just a vapor of our existence.” This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all day long! This line was continuously going through my thoughts as I began this book about the unexpected loss of Emilie, my 18-year-old daughter, in a tragic accident. I lay open my heart and share the good, bad, and ugly of the whole emotional process. I cannot even fathom where or who I would be right now if I had no faith in God and his heart-healing power. Most of all, I want people to know that with Jesus they are not alone in their grief.
About the Author
This is My Story, This is My Song is Sheila's debut autobiography of a select time in life. It took a little over two years to submit to the publisher even though she wrote the majority of it in January 2014. There was much of it that she still had yet to experience. She states, "I write like I talk, and I am not always grammatically or politically correct. No one intends to have to write about grief and loss, but life happens, and sometimes you need to share your testimony in order to encourage and comfort others."
Sheila currently lives near Carmi, Illinois, a small Southern Illinois rural community nestled near the Little Wabash River. She has been married for twenty-seven years to Joe Turrentine of Norris City, Illinois. They have three children, Emilie Jo (forever eighteen), Peyton Wade, and daughter Samantha Reigh, ("daughter of my heart"). Sheila and her family attend Crossroads Bible Church in Norris City, Illinois.
Through her writing Sheila wants her faith in Jesus to show foremost and to give thanks to God for His guidance and for the words to share her family's experiences.