The Good, the Bad, the Truth

Now reality is setting in. As I look in the mirror to make my face look alive, I realize that I am getting dressed for my husband’s funeral. Knock. Knock. I drop what I am doing and head to the front door. It’s my sister-in-law Hope* here to take me to the funeral home. “Hey Sister!” She says “Hey!” I reply as we embrace in a hug. March 24, 2016 It take a few more minutes to get ready. I put on my royal blue rhinestone shoes on. Alex loves these shoes. It’s in his favorite color so it was only tting for me to wear it. We get in the car and head towards the funeral home. Luckily it is down the street from my house do we didn’t have a long car ride. She parks the car and gets out. I take a deep breath before reaching for the car handle. Breathe. As I walk into the funeral home, I’m greeted by the funeral home sta . I see my family waiting in the holding area. e Pastor is her and he begins to say a prayer before we head to the church. ey wheel the casket to the hearse and escort me to the family car. As we drive o , we are being escorted by a police o cer. I look out the window, and try to nd Alex’s face in the sky or some sort of sign. I look over at my Father –in-law and I can tell he didn’t get a lot of sleep last night as well. It’s going to be a sad day. A lot is going thru my head right now. I close my eyes. God, let this be a dream. is can’t be happening. All of a sudden, the car comes to a stop. I open my eyes to see that we are stuck in tra c. “ ey are working on the road”, the driver said. “We need to try to get by,” he adds. One of the following cars drives on the shoulder to ask the construction crew if we could pass. Once we try to ease onto the shoulder, several cars get over to block out way. My cousin Neal* gets out of his car and talks to the driver in front of us and lets him not what we are headed to a funeral. After waiting a few minutes, we are nally able to head to the church. Once we arrive, there is already a crowd waiting and the parking lot is about full. I never gully realized until today, how many lives Alex touched. Friends and Family from all over came to the funeral t pay their respects to Alex. I am blessed to be called his wife. e funeral sta member opens my door and leads me in following my husband’s casket. e Pastor is escorting me in. We are gathered at the French doors leading to the sanctuary. e French doors open and all I can think about in my head that this would be as the Bride walking down the aisle meeting my husband at the end. Instead I’m walking down the aisle where my husband’s casket awaits. It is a beautiful matte black casket with owers surrounding it and a beautiful picture of him next to him. As I walk to my seat I notice that the church is full of loving friends and family. e room is silent but the tears are so loud. I can feel everyone’s grief and sorrow and it is making the room heavy. “We are here to celebrate the Homegoing of Mr. Alex Silva”, the Pastor states in sadness. Please wake up! I hoped Alex would hear my cries. e slideshow starts to play with pictures and songs for Alex. People are still walking in the church as the Pastor is giving the eulogy and it was beautiful. I hope I honored Alex to the best of his wishes.