Who Will Save Me from Grandpa?
The Impact of 10 Years of Sexual Abuse at the Hands of My Grandfather and My Journey of Healing
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"Come over here for a minute.” I heard this request many times before, but this time it was different. Interrupted from my casual walk through the living room, I glance into the kitchen from where the request was made. On the other side of the aluminum-edged, yellow Formica peninsula that separates the dated kitchen from the living room, sits my grandfather. He is a well groomed man with a full head of dark hair which he keeps neatly combed back and he always smells of Zest soap and aftershave. His gently lined face is rounded, but with a defined jaw line and chin. Before I take a step towards him to honor his request, I pause and think to myself in my thirteen year old mind, He has had a couple of strokes recently…and he has seemed to have forgotten a lot of things. Maybe he has forgotten about this, too. Hesitantly, I walk over to the man sitting on the perch from where he has beckoned for me many times before. As I stand awkwardly in front of him, not knowing what to expect, a familiar hand slides between my legs, touching my pubic area. He has NOT forgotten. Suddenly, a powerful jolt of consciousness screams through my body as I grab his age spotted hand and forcefully pull it away from me. The unrestrained words explode from my mouth, "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME ANYMORE!" Frozen with shock from the powerful words that just exited my broken soul, I stand terrified of the repercussions of my perceived disrespect towards my grandfather. "You know, you could have stopped it any time you wanted to", he replies. Confusion courses through me. Time seems to stop as waves of intense emotion crash into me. I attempt to process what has just occurred. I struggle to take my next breath, silently maintain my newly acquired courage, and walk away from the kitchen chair where my grandfather is sitting. Ironically, this notorious chair is one of the frequent places from which he repetitively thieved my innocence over the past ten years. This moment of immense life change passes, the clock restarts again, and we both move forward with our days, acting as if nothing extraordinary has just happened. It was over.
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About the Book
“You know, you could have stopped it anytime you wanted to!” Imagine hearing these accusatory words spoken to you by your abuser, your own grandfather. Imagine hearing these words as a thirteen-year-old girl who has just mustered up enough courage to finally end the atrocious sexual abuse you have suffered during the most important developmental years of your life. Imagine the lifetime of guilt and shame, the loss of self, and how these devastating events have impacted your heart, mind, body, and spirit. Here is the haunting yet empowering autobiographical journey through the life of just one of the abused.
About the Author
About the Author Carrie Wiiliams-Lee was raised in a small town in the Midwest and now resides nearby her hometown with the love of her life, Curtis and her many fur-children. She finds peace by being creative in the garden, decorating her home or with a variety of crafts. With a strong faith in God and an even stronger will, she has conquered horrendous events in her life and bravely tells her story with one purpose…to help others understand how the negative impact of child sexual abuse affects one’s life and to give other victims hope that there is help and healing available.