Her Own Path

She was shedding her old dream, which she hoped to build for so long. Tonight that time has come, which she had been dreaming about for more than a decade. Tonight she was running without any destiny, without dream, without any plan for the future. She was running away to escape the miseries of living with broken faith, distrust and lack of love. She was determined to break the relationship that gave her a shelter but not a home. Now she was running away to attain peace without home, without family, in the midst of nowhere. Let her be in peace in solitude unaffected by the disease of a mock relationship that pleases the society but ruins the individuals who are involved.

This journey of her had no final objective; she was just achieving her mission to escape from where she was trapped. As an immediate plan, she wanted to meet her brother, Kassim, in Lancaster, Pennsylvania where he was a practicing physician. She was going there to take refuge for a few days and then she would move on to an unknown destination.

The train was moving at a top speed. A monotonous sound was coming from the interaction of the wheels and the track. At times, the whole car was swinging back and forth. The sound and movement was creating an intoxicating effect, which ultimately put most passengers to sleep.

She was sitting near the window resting her head on the glass. She was looking straight and sometimes watching the people sitting in the front seats. Most passengers were dozing and some sleeping with their bodies touching each other’s. A few were shuffling the pages of newspapers and magazines. Others were sitting and staring out the windows with blank expression on their faces. Salina thought how nice it would be if the train never stopped and she never had to think about her next move. Her appearance and movements were indeed reflected that she was utterly tired and fatigued. The constant steady motion of the train induced a lethargic feeling to her mind. Gradually, her eyes became heavy and hard to keep open. She felt slightly dizzy but kept herself awake for a while but eventually fell asleep.

Then, Salina felt someone rest a soft warm hand on her forehead. The hand became heavier and heavier; she was unable to move her head. She was still hearing the sound of a moving train but saw herself lying down in her own bed in the apartment in Highland Park. She was seeing the picture of a landscape by Corote that she had hung on the wall a year ago. She saw the dressing table mirror tilted towards the left as it had been for the last several months. The wardrobe in the bedroom was partially open and she saw her black, pink and violet dresses neatly arranged on hangers.

She saw the bedroom window was partially open. A slice of moonlight passed through the window producing diffused light filling the entire room by reflecting against the white wall. In that dim light she saw the shadow of a man with a long white beard. She was frightened and closed her eyes. When she again felt the touch on her forehead she gathered her strength and slowly opened her eyes. She saw her father standing at her side and she froze. She remembered her father had passed away at least twenty years ago. She asked herself, "Am I hallucinating?" She couldn’t think any more. But, she was absolutely sure it was her father with his long white beard.

"Yes it was he, no one else, I must not fear at all," she thought. She heard a whispering voice. At first she could not understand. She was trying to see her father in the diffused moonlight that brightened the room. Now she saw he was standing at her bedside with the same old, fragile body but a serene face. She stared at him with some disbelief. With a wide open eyes, she asked " Dad, is it really you? Why did you come?"

The old man replied in a deep steady voice, " Yes, Salina, it is I. I came to see you because you are in despair. Listen to me: try to be calm and steady when you are in despair and you will find the path to follow."

She shivered with excitement, her throat was dry, and her breath became rapid and heavy. The figure of the old man became very distinct and she could see him quite clearly. It was indeed her father but he looked much younger though his hair, beard and eyebrows were as white as when he died. The last time she saw him he was lying in bed, frail and weak, paralyzed from his waist down. He had become so tiny that he was hardly visible in the room unless there was bright light. Now he looked like a healthy man, standing on his feet wearing a long white shirt that was loose and hung below his knees. His pants were baggy and white. He was standing tall with white long whiskers reaching up to the chest and white hair that came down to his shoulder and, curled at the end.

In a deep voice he said, " Why are you crying?"