CLEAN AND FUNNY JOKES LAUGHS OF A LIFE TIME

A Boy and His Cat

A little boy loved his cat.  While at school one day, his Mom opened the door and the cat ran out, went into the street, and was run over by a car and was killed.  Mom didn’t know how to tell her son about the death of the cat.

After two days, the boy asked, “Mom, what happened to my cat?”  Mom said, “Son, the cat got out and a car ran over him.  He is in Heaven now, with God.”  The little boy thought a minute, scratched his head, and said, “Mom, what does God want with a dead cat?”

The Curse

An old man goes to the wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.  The wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”

The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife!”

Ken’s Last Request

Ken was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully, “Promise to fulfill my last request, Cindy.”

“Of course, Ken,” his wife said softly.

“Six months after I die,” he said, “I want you to marry Tim.”

“But I thought you hated Tim,” she said.

With his last breath, Ken said, “I do.”