Free The WILLY (Bold Letters)

Lots of things go on during “spring break” as the college students let off a little steam. This one student was arrested for indecent exposure in a field near the beach, and was appearing before a judge.  “I plead not guilty, Your Honor. I only went there to get relieved,” he testified.  “Well, I’m inclined to accept your explanation.” Said the judge. “I guess some allowances must be made for ‘emergencies’.”

“That’s true to a point, Your Honor,” said the arresting officer. “But what about this young lady here who relieved him?”

* * *

A big-shot businessman had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees.  None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, “I have to take your temperature.”  After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.“No, I’m sorry,” the nurse stated, “but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer.” This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his rear end.  After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, “I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!”  She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man’s doctor came into the room.  “What’s going on here?” asked the doctor.  Angrily, the man answered, “What’s the matter, Doc? Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?” After a pause, the doctor confessed,  “Well, no. I guess I haven’t.  Not with a carnation, anyway.”

(I once asked my doctor if he would sign my Insurance Form and he pulled out a rectal thermometer and then asked, “What happened to my pen?”)