Respect, Responsibility, Reward

Respect … Responsibility … Reward …

I will be addressing issues such as respect, responsibility, and rewards. We will look at the meaning of each one and see how they apply to us and our lives. I believe that if one has respect for oneself and is a productive, responsible person, he/she can gain rewards in life. My goal is to show you through examples both sides of the coin. Then you can judge and decide what will work for you. Many people go through life not quite feeling good about self, not quite measuring up, and not being all that they can be. Hopefully when you take a look at your behaviors and character and learn to respect yourself and be responsible, you can gain rewards.

When I worked with underprivileged youth, we taught them how to replace their learned inappropriate behaviors with more acceptable appropriate behaviors. Teaching appropriate social skills and using behavioral systems these young people learned skills that would help them succeed in life. We used reward systems. They would earn positive consequences for acceptable (appropriate) behavior and negative consequences for unacceptable (inappropriate) behavior. Through this learning experience, these young people learned how to be accepted in society thus being successful.

You need to be serious when reading this book and want to improve yourself. By being honest and taking a look at your behaviors, you can keep behaviors that “make you look good” and improve the behaviors that “make you look bad.” Not everyone will be of the opinion that inappropriate behavior makes you look bad. But if you take the time to consider the examples and decide for yourself what looks good and what looks bad, then you can decide for yourself if you need to replace some of your inappropriate behaviors with more appropriate ones. Even if others do not agree with you, you will find that you feel so much better about yourself and even feel that if others do not agree with you it is okay. You do not have to please the others around you with your decisions. You just have to make sure that you treat everyone with respect despite the fact that they may or may not treat you that way. I can guarantee that you will gain respect; however, not everyone will be of this thinking and be respectful to you. That will be their problem. I have found that you can be polite and respectful when you have to, even if you do not agree with the other person who does not show respect to you, themselves, or others. This is not to say that you are a bad person if you engage in behaviors that are inappropriate. It only means that you learned behaviors that are inappropriate and make you look bad. So you do not have to change yourself inside. You are still the person you always have been. You are only changing the way you act or react to others around you in your life. This will help increase the amount of respect and kindness you may receive from others as well as having good things happen to you rather than bad things. It shows good character!

The important thing to remember is that you are going to decide what to do for “you,” and this is the first step in making a better “you.”

Now that you have had exposure to some character-building skills and learned some things about respect and responsibility, let’s take a look at rewards.

What are rewards? Certainly there are many different rewards. It all depends on what it is we are looking for. Are we looking to get rich? Are we looking for lots of material goods? Are we looking for a top job? We may want some of those things. Rewards come to us in many different ways. If we want those things, then we may get them regardless of how we behave. I am not talking about a great job, lots of money, or material goods. Money does not buy happiness. People who have lots of money are not necessarily happy. People with an expensive home and cars and a lot of material things are not necessarily happy. They may feel like these things make them happy, but do they like themselves? Do they respect themselves? Are they responsible? Do they have confidence? If they lost all of their money and material goods, would they still be happy? If you are thinking about getting those rewards by building your character, then you are missing the point of building your character.

The rewards I am talking about come from other things. It comes from the good feeling inside that you get when you are being responsible and you follow through on your commitments. It is when you have respect for yourself and make good choices in your life. It is when you show others respect. It is doing something nice for yourself or others. For example: Your neighbor has just finished with the funeral of a significant other, and you make a casserole and take it over to him/her. He/she is thankful. How do you feel? Do you feel good or bad? You are at work, and you go out of your way to help out another employee or your boss. He/she is very thankful. How does it make you feel? You have a friend who is poor and just barely makes it from month to month. You take him/her a bag of groceries. He/she breaks down and cries and thanks you. How do you feel? Do you feel good or bad?

Feeling good about yourself comes from doing those things that help you improve yourself and/or help others to improve themselves. It comes when you respect yourself and show respect for others. It comes when you accomplish a goal that you set out to reach. When you accomplish a goal at work, your employer will compliment you, and you may get that raise you are hoping for. These good feelings only come from liking yourself and extending yourself to others around you.

People come in many shapes and sizes, and they do not all think alike. What makes you think they should all agree with how you believe? And who is to say who is right? The important thing is that you stand up for who you are and allow others to stand up for who they are. Others will have respect for you because you stand up for who you are and respect yourself. They may or may not like you for what you stand for,