Hell Hath No Fury

As the days turned into weeks, I fell deeper and deeper in love with her.  I had more than my share of experiences with women before her, but nothing like this.  I was finding out what love was really all about.  The word love was so simple.  And so easily used.  But, this thing that was happening to me, was much stronger than any word in any language.  My soul seemed to be possessed by her, and it no longer belonged to me.  My mind was no longer master of my thoughts, without her being a part of them.  My blood raced, my heart pounded, my guts ached, just from the thoughts of ever being without her.  When she was with me, I was master of the world.  When she wasn’t, I only thought of her.  It was completely frightening to feel myself  being pulled into something I had fought against so hard, for so long.  I was needing her.  Not physically, but mentally.  I was scared inside.  Would I be strong enough to continue to be my own man, or would I let her make me become something I detested?  One of us would have to concede.  She was strong and masterful, and was determined to remain that way.  I could either

let her master our world, or retain my own self  pride, and loose everything else.

*****

“I’ve got to talk to you”, he said, looking very serious and tired.

“Come on in my office, and I’ll get us a coffee.”  I went and got a couple of coffees, and when I got back, I noticed him standing outside.  I walked out, handed him the coffee, and remarked what a lousy day it was.

“Yeah, lousier than you know”, he muttered.  I knew he had something pretty heavy on his mind from the way he was now acting.  But, I didn’t push to find out what it was.

“So, how’s everything going?”  I asked casually.

“Not so good.  I’m not here for just a visit, I have to tell you something.”  I waited.  He took a deep breath, and when it came out, it didn’t make a hell of a lot of sense.  “James died this morning.”  I studied his face for more, but there was no more.  My mind raced.  I couldn’t place anyone by the name of  James.

“James who?”  I asked.  His eyes filled with tears, as he said,

“James your son.”  It hit me with the force of a truck.  “I’m sorry to have to be the one that had to tell you.  But the cops said you would have to be told.  Mom didn’t want you to know, but they said it was the law that the father, if around, had to be notified.  I told them I thought it would be better if I told you, rather than them.  You know how they are.”  The words poured out of his mouth.  I heard them, and they burned as they past through my mind.  I couldn’t speak, I just heard.  “Mom is pretty upset, and the doctor gave her a shot to settle her down.  She told me not to tell you, but I would rather you heard it from me than a total stranger.”