Is it Weird Out There ....?
...Or is it just me?
by
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If you were to visit our house, you might notice a pair of oven mitts in the living room, and you might be too polite to ask why they are there.
Have you ever heard the phrase "something the cat dragged in," or its more common variation, "something the cat drug in"?
Well, it's more than just a phrase at our house. We have to figure out a way to get rid of it, and "it" isn't an oven mitt.
As I've mentioned before, in nice weather we often leave a small door open during the day so our two cats can come and go as they please. This habit led to a midnight visit in our bedroom by a stray feline when I accidentally left the door open in the evening.
That convinced me to leave it open only during the day, but another drawback to this procedure became evident about a month ago when our junior cat, Figaro, brought a ground squirrel into the living room.
It was not injured, for a couple of reasons. One is that if Figaro were a retriever-type dog, heaven forbid, he would be said to have a "soft mouth." Another is that he was apparently more bored than hungry, and was regarding his prey more as a toy than as dinner.
This made the situation less messy, but more difficult to resolve. If the beast had been dead, or nearly so, I could have simply taken the carcass outside. But it was very lively.
Figaro would bat it, and it would get up on its little hind legs and lunge at Figaro - or at any person trying to save it. Doggone, folks, those little guys have sharp little teeth.
So I was trying to get it away from the cat without getting bitten by either of them, and after a few minutes Figaro looked at me, and I looked at him, and we realized the ground squirrel was gone.
Oops.
THE TWO OF US searched the house, but couldn't find it.
Figaro was clearly disgusted with my interference, and I was mildly concerned about the disappearance of the chipmunk, but it was no big deal. Eventually, I thought, it would come out and run afoul of either Figaro or Jake, our senior cat, and that would be that.
I quit looking, although I did accede to my wife's demand about NOT LEAVING THE DAMNED DOOR OPEN ANYMORE.
When several weeks passed with no sign of our unwanted visitor, I assumed nature had taken its course. Then I walked into the living room and found Figaro playing with a ground squirrel. Since the door had been closed, it had to be the same one.
Once again I entered the fray, after grabbing the oven mitts from the kitchen to protect against the teeth and claws, and once again the little nipper took advantage of the diversion and vanished.
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About the Book
Which part of the supermarket vegetable department should be rated "R"?
What do you do if you're sitting in the driveway with a lawn mower on your lap when the neighbor's nasty pit bull appears?
Should the death penalty be abolished, except for people who drive too slowly in the passing lane?
Why do Iowa farmers hide their hogs and daughters every presidential election year?
What do Colfax Mingo, Pablo McHorowitz and Marguarita Con-Tequila have in common?
Life can throw a lot of questions, situations and decisions at a person, some more serious than others. Columnist Mike Deupree of The Cedar Rapids Gazette has been making observations on many of them for more than 20 years, often evoking a chuckle and from time to time stimulating a thought or two.
Collected here are some of those observations, on topics ranging from the ACLU to zoology.
About the Author
Mike Deupree has worked in the newspaper business since 1969 as a sportswriter, reporter, editor, editorial writer, movie reviewer and, for the past 20 years, as a columnist for the Cedar Rapids (Ia.) Gazette. His work has four times won top honors in the annual competition of the Iowa Newspaper Association and also has been honored by the Associated Press Managing Editors, the American Society of Newspaper Editors and the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. Some of his columns have been distributed by the New York Times News Service.
Deupree lives in suburban Shueyville, Iowa, with his wife, Kathy, and at least one cat.