Two 8’s, Two 3’s, Nothing Wild

Two 8’s, Two 3’s, Nothing Wild is a book that I wrote for my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and others to help them win the game of life.  It is the true story of a middle-class American, teacher, veteran, husband, father, and grandfather and how he played his far-from-perfect hand to the best of his ability to achieve much happiness and success.  It’s about the most important lessons that his many lives and experiences taught him.  It’s my story, and I’d like to share it with you.

            Perhaps, though, I should begin with an explanation of the book’s title.  For 29 years, I was a university teacher of transportation, logistics, and marketing.  My first responsibility was to make sure I taught my students the subject matter advertised in the course catalog preparing them for subsequent courses and the rigors of the business world.  However, it quickly became clear to me that I shouldn’t stop there.  What so many of them craved was guidance to help them prepare for life.  Consequently, I began searching for ways to help individual students discover their passions, recognize their potential, raise their expectations, and find homes for their unique gifts and skills.  In simple words, I just wanted them to have an easier time navigating life’s challenges and be happy and successful.  Some of them, though, had a lot of doubts about themselves and the future.  It’s accurate to say they saw their glasses half empty.  And I didn’t understand that because they had so much going for them, and in America, so many opportunities. What follows is the approach I used to improve their attitudes.  It also clarifies the title and central theme of the book.

When the time was right, I would ask students to raise their hands if they believed life was unfair.  That always got their attention as well as considerable support, which didn’t surprise me, for I agreed with them.  Next, I asked them to think of the world as one huge poker game in which every person on the planet is a player.  And I said, “At birth, all of us were each dealt a hand.  We didn’t choose our parents or our genes or our family’s wealth and status.  So raise your hand if you think you got a royal flush.”  Only once during the 10+ years when I asked this question of thousands of students did anyone answer affirmatively.  “Then,” I would follow, “how about a flush?  Did you get that?”  Usually, a few hands went up.  “Did anyone get three aces?”  Typically this got more hands in the air.  However, when I finally asked, “How many of you got a bad hand?” many hands were raised.

            After a pause to let people look around the room, my next statement was, “I’ve thought about this a lot during my life, and I have concluded that I got two 8’s.”  Always this produced some puzzled looks, smiles and often a remark like, “That’s not very good, Dr. Stephenson.”  Once the class settled down, I would state, “AND two 3’s.”  Again I got more smiles than congratulations.  But I quickly added, “And nothing’s wild.  Now if I could guarantee you this hand in life, would you take it?  Would it win far more than it would lose?”

Then I would state, “My hand in life isn’t perfect.  Nobody’s is from what I have observed over the years.  I wasn’t born into wealth and privilege.  My IQ is not as high as I would have liked.  I don’t have Brad Pitt’s good looks.  My athletic ability is nothing exceptional.  All my life I have been limited by a pathetically poor memory that held me back and far too often left me totally embarrassed.  I’m also short and left handed.  And a few years ago I discovered what it’s like when a doctor says, ‘You have cancer.’  My hand definitely is not as good as some other people’s hands are.  But it was the hand I was dealt, and I just made up my mind to play it to the best of my ability.  And you know what?  It has turned out to be a very good hand.  For one thing, against those liabilities I had many blessings, assets like loving parents, being born in America, and a sense of humor that I wouldn’t trade for anything.  And my guess is, since you are sitting in this class and thousands of others would have given most anything to have been admitted to The University of Georgia in your place, you need to think about this when you get the urge to complain.  Just try to make the most of this wonderful opportunity in life that you have.  And if that is inadequate proof, after class go to town, walk the streets, and ask yourself how many of the people you see would gladly change places with you right no