For the next two days they lived on tip-toe, watching behind them and peering into shadows. Emsby purified every meal before they ate, no one went out alone, and at least two people kept an eye on Biophontes. Saturday evening they gathered to celebrate official promotions for Verminius – to fourth level, Tillyard – to third, Shaphel – to second, and much to his surprise Chip – to first level thief. After they had eaten, Hanno turned to Gull Cry and asked, “Have you decided to continue with us on our quest, or do you plan to stay here in Dyetmara?”
She stared at her empty plate and murmured, “I think Shaphel and I still need to talk. I’m grateful that you will have me, but. . .”
Shaphel squirmed in his chair and suggested, “Perhaps we should go upstairs to one of the rooms and settle this marriage business in private.” He pushed back his chair and waited for her to precede him up the stairs. “Your room or ours?” he asked.
“Yours,” she muttered.
He opened the door and waved toward a chair. When they were seated he kept his eyes scrupulously on her face. “When we started out, I left the choice to you. I still think you’d ne a good lay, and I’ll keep you as my wife if you want. Do you want to marry me in body? I’ll treat you gently; I’ll protect you with my life; I’ll support our children and protect them; what is mine will be yours, and I’ll expect you to share everything with me.”
“What about love? You never say you love me.”
“I don’t understand what you mean by love. Chip says it is possible for a man and woman to be friends as well as bed mates. All my friends are men, and I’d never think of plugging one of them any more than I’d think of playing chess or planning an adventure or going to a tavern with a woman. But I think I could learn to treat you as a friend.”
“But do you love me? Do you want to ne near me all time? Do you think of me while you’re away training or off on the town?”
“Why should I do that? I want to crush your body against mine and plant my seed in your belly, but that doesn’t interfere with my work or my fun. After I’ve spouted my seed, I ‘m done, so I go to sleep or go do something else. If we want to do the same things, we can learn to do them together. If we don’t, we can go about our business till we want each other again.”
She stood up and stamped her foot in frustration. “And I suppose if you want to and I don’t you’ll go off with some floozy.”
“I’ll always give you first chance.”
“This is insane! You haven’t the slightest notion what marriage is all about.”
“It’s about making kids and making sure the parents take good care of them. It’s about making sure a woman has a man to protect her and take care of her when she can’t do it for herself. It’s about having a woman there when you’re injured or scared or horny. It’s about how a man and a woman can be safer and happier together than they can apart. What more do you want?”
She slumped down on the bed, racked with sobs. “What about love?”
He sat beside her and wrapped a hairy arm around her shoulders. “I’ve never known love,” he confessed. “Since I enlisted under Ambloq, I’ve discovered friendship, and it’s wonderful to have comrades to cheer you up when you’re down and to guard your back and to have a party when you’re happy. If love is like that, maybe I can learn that too. Right now I can hardly breathe for wanting to tear off our clothes and fit our bodies together and stop time while we blend. I want you to be happy and it hurts me when you’re not. Everything is all messed up.”
She drew back and stared at the hunger in his face. “You must have had a hell of a childhood.”
“It was lonely.” he confessed.
She lifted her face and kissed him gently. She felt his massive strength, his warmth, his longing and surrendered to his embrace.
It was very late that night when they finally came downstairs and announced to their friends that there would be seven on the caravan to Fond du Lac.