Laughing Kitbags
by
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“Go on Stu, go on mate”, came the encouragement from the lads. Stuart managed to make this cow turn up hill, that slowed it down a bit and this gave `Wild Bill Hickock` half a chance to launch himself onto its back. So here we are, looking at this crazed Geordie who is full of Pernod now hanging on for dear life on the back of a cow which has now turned down hill and is having none of this. He must have lasted about 10 seconds when the cow ejected him straight onto numerous piles of cowshit. Off he went sliding down the hill on his arse collecting cowpats as he went. The lads were in fits of laughter and a few of them decided they would show him how it was done. Needless to say, every one of them ended up with the same result as Stuart and those who were still sat there merrily taking in the entertainment, were bombarded with cowpats, the majority of them still fresh! Time-out. And it was time for refreshment. Looking around at each other realized that we smelled as bad as the cows. We had planned to stay in town all day and carry on straight into the night. What with it being during the summer months, the night life started quite early evening in town and we were going to be part of it. “I suppose we better go and order some taxis back to camp eh?” said Ali “What for?” we queried “Well, to get cleaned up and get out of this shitty gear ready for tonight” he replied. “£11 for a taxi!! You must be fucking joking, we’ll get sorted out in town here, come on lets get to the launderette” I said. So off we trudged down `cow hill` and through the bottom end of town to the launderette, looking like we had just done a hard days graft on a farm! The launderette was right next to the main bus station and it was packed with shoppers waiting for their respective buses. “Haway man, let’s gan in and get this sorted oot, who’s putting his gear in with mine then”? Stuart asked, “WE ALL WILL” was our reply and at that we all stripped off and bunged our gear in the washing machine. Plenty of soap powder and off we go. Looking back on it all, we probably could have made a mint on T.V. as this was happening about 6 or 7 years before the Levis Jeans advert where the bloke strips down to his undies in the launderette and washes his jeans! With everyone else in there looking
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About the Book
Laughing kitbags came about because so many people said that I should write a book when I left the Royal Navy about the funnier times. The times you do not get to read about in everyday newspapers! I, like so many others have many a `dit` to tell and I, like many others tell these stories over & over again. Why?, because they are hilarious but most of all, they represent the `hard play` which was expected after `hard work` which was paramount throughout the RN in the 70s and 80s. The `dits` have been written in a way as to have the reader hopefully feeling that he/she was there at the time. At most times throughout the book the content is of an adult nature, verging almost on explicit!! It is though written with passion,truth and priceless experiences.
About the Author
The Author originates from Sunderland in the North East of England of who`s only boyhood dream and wishes was to join the Royal Navy on leaving school. Having listened to stories of the high seas from his father who was ex RN, his joining date could not come quick enough! Having completed 23 years in the Fleet Air Arm as a Helicopter Engineer, he left in 2002 whereupon memories of years gone by started flooding back and so `Laughing Kitbags` was written. During his career the Author was questioned by one of his family that "He thought more of his Navy mates than he did his own family"....The Authors reply was, "I work with them, wash,eat,drink with them. Share my money with them,socialise,laugh,cry and fight with them. Share everything from my car to shampoo with them. Share good & bad times with them even (and this has only been a few times)....share women with them, so yes I suppose in a way I do think more of them but its a totally different way, a way that I would not expect any of my family to understand for this is total comradeship"...the Authors family member understood. Still with serving and ex Navy friends around him, the Author now lives and works in the South West. He is married to Melanie and has children Lorna,George and Millie.