“My Grace is sufficient for you. For power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9b).
Being summoned by pager is always an electrifying event, especially when called to a medical emergency or sudden death. I usually prepare myself through prayer as soon as I arise and continue to pray during my long drive to the hospital. So whenever I am being paged I have no prior knowledge of the event, and when I report back the information is scant at best. Circumstances such as the story I am describing below, leave me often in a state of feeling weak, and frequently recalling the above Scripture passage from 2 Corinthians seems to have an instant calming effect on me.
One morning as I arrived at the hospital I was paged. I dropped everything and ran to the surgical area where I was quickly informed I needed to see a patient who was on the operating table ready to receive anesthesia but who couldn’t proceed due to extreme anxiety. I was helped into scrubs and quickly ushered into the surgical environs.
A woman was on the table with outstretched hands, the IV lines attached. She seemed very quiet, not visibly emotional or hysterical. When I asked her what was on her mind, she stated she was afraid. I asked “what is the worst thing that could happen to you” and she stated she could die. I countered with the statement: “So you are afraid you could die?” She answered affirmative and added that she would have nothing to wear to her funeral. I questioned her, wanting to know why she would have nothing to wear to her funeral. “Were you ever without clothing? Did God not supply for all your needs? Did you ever have to go naked?” Finally she seemed reassured and I prayed for her, closing with the Lord’s Prayer, in which she joined.
After my intervention, the surgery began in earnest. I left visibly shaken, and not sure at all what was at the bottom of this bizarre behavior. I resorted to prayer in the chapel to give my concerns to the Lord. I visited the patient later and was told that the surgery had been successful and the patient was making normal progress. The next day I came back to find a man seated near the patient’s bed, seemingly talking to the patient. The patient was stone-faced and hardly acknowledged me. I took my cue and left quickly. I always acknowledge visitors at bedside, but I had an uneasy feeling and did not try to engage the man in conversation.
The uneasy feeling prevailed and I spoke with the patient’s nurse who had not noticed anything out of the ordinary. Later in the day I returned to find the patient alone and in a totally different mood, wanting to talk. She explained that the man was her husband and wanted to kill her. I immediately informed the nurse and called for security to prevent a return visit by the husband.
As the patient continued to heal over the next days she supplied more information.
I managed to impress upon her the need for a lawyer and a possible restraining order. The patient followed through with my suggestions. Leaving nothing to chance and being aware that I had at best received a one sided report, I elected to seek a psycholy consult for the patient. The latter must be approved by the primary care physician and was granted immediately. Chaplains are a part of the health team and work in tandem with doctors and nurses, maintaining privacy and confidentiality as directed by priestly ordination and by the Standards of Professional.Chaplains.
.
As stressful as this event was, my regular prayer discipline helped me to remain calm. Considering that the patient was extremely fearful of her husband, and considering that I was the one who initiated actions and events that could be perceived by the husband as threatening, I became aware of my own vulnerability.
I was not afraid, but prayed for God’s protection, as evil knows no boundaries. Impending danger can intimidate and compel us to hide by becoming inactive and trying to keep a low profile. As one attempts to overcome the fear of imminent danger; there is a temptation to succumb more readily to sleep, thus avoiding facing reality. I remembered from the Gospels the action of the disciples on the Mount of Olives, who found themselves unable to support Jesus’ need for companionship and fell asleep at the most inappropriate time. Notwithstanding my trust in God, I elected to remain vigilant in my daily life and ministry, confronting and dealing with my fears in appropriate ways.
It was with some feeling of relief when I heard from the patient again many months later. She called me at the hospital and informed me that she had been divorced and was taking care of her dying mother. She asked for prayers for her mother and I assured her I would remember her as well. Some time later the woman called again and told me about the peaceful death of her mother. She thanked me for my assistance and stated she felt at peace.
I remember vividly how often I had prayed for this patient, kept her on our regular prayer list and hoped for the best, leaving everything in the hands of the Lord. This time I knew implicitly that God was in charge and that the amazing things that happened were a result of God’s intervention.
Threatening events leave their mark on us. Biblical theology is considered a catastrophe theology, beginning with the flood and described with great anguish in the book of Revelation. However, every disastrous end has a new beginning, a “rebirth to a living hope”. There are events in every person’s life that call forth fear and trembling at the remembrance. Moltmann describes some of his personal remembrances in: In The End-The Beginning (2004, pp. 31-33) and compares them to major catastrophic events as told in the Bible. The flood and the covenant with Noah ended with the promise of a new beginning and was sealed by the sign of the rainbow. The promise to Israel was that God will be their God and they, Israel, will be his people.
Likewise the crucifixion of Jesus by the occupying Roman governor, was an event, catastrophic and brutal, and yet brought forth a new beginning. Through the death of Jesus came the birth of Christianity. The Christ event gave birth to the mercy of God through Jesus; God wasn’t waiting any more, and the time was fulfilled. Born of a woman (Galatians 4:4) Jesus, the Symbol of God, was hailed before his death as he rode on a donkey into Jerusalem with the cry: “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord” (Mark 11:9). Yet, the end of Jesus had a truly new beginning. The death on the cross was followed by the Easter appearances to the faithful women and then to the disciples. The women and the disciples gathered new courage and returned to Jerusalem overcoming their fear of death.
The remembrance of Christ seems to open new horizons of hope. We know that the Christian remembers the death and resurrection of Christ and continues to proclaim the one who is risen. Theoretically speaking; “hope lives from the anticipation of the positive and therefore sees itself as the negation of the negative. The two things belong together,” (Moltmann, 2004, pp. 88-92).