New Beginnings Poems

Cousin's I know you guys lived really far, you still could of at least called, I didn't have your number, but I always wondered, was it really that hard, to send me a post card, even if you wrote me a letter, I would of felt a lot better, why did you guys always ignore, why did you do that for, even if you were in town, you still wouldn't come around, you guys hardly even knew my name, I think that's a shame, it's almost been 30 years, and we still don't have any memories, I really wanted to get to know you, I started feeling lonely, sometimes you guys would let me sleep on your couch, but the next day you would kick me out, I didn't like when you would say can I barrow some cash, don't worry I'll pay you back, did you think it was funny, when you didn't pay me back my money, you would always want to borrow my truck, but you would never give me a buck, you guys always asked me for a favor, but then you wouldn't pay me back later. Change I'm getting tired of being miserable, I don't want to be a criminal, I always feel I'm trapped, I can't take this crap, it's like I'm in a puddle, I don't want to get in anymore trouble, I want to make you proud, all you do is talk bad about me in a crowd, I'm not going to let you call me a dead beat, you're not going to repeat it, I know I'm 28, that doesn't mean it's too late, I'm not going to fail, I can't go back to jail, I know I have more to offer, I have to do it for my daughter, everyone tells me I'm smart, it's not always my fault, if you make a mistake, that doesn't mean it's too late, I'm going to stop making bad choices, I have to get focused, you guys said I'm not the same, I told you I have to change.   Age I still remember when we were younger, we used to sneak into the bar, we never got too far, when I turned 21, that's when I had so much fun, when we get older you get a little smarter, then life gets harder, I used to like birthdays, now I don't like those days, it's only age, I don't know why we get so afraid, I used to think when I turned 24, I would have so much more, I'm almost 28, theres days it feels like my body is going to break, you told me I'm old enough to get my own home, the thing is I don't want to be alone, my parents are in there 50's, at least there still with me, we were so young, now I'm calling you hun, I had so much planned for my future, before I became a teacher, it's only age, why do we get so amazed, it's not going to stay the same, one day we'll be walking with a cane.