The Six O’clock News was reporting that several tall buildings along Myrtle Beach's Grand Strand had witnessed an “Elevator Monster” riding the elevators and lurking within the hallways.
The Monster was said to be frighteningly tall, had neon hair and wore pajama-like clothing. It was described as having a deep, raspy voice, black eyes that crossed inward, and was known to surprise children riding in elevator cars for one purpose: hearing them scream.
Reportedly the screams were needed to energize the Monster’s brain. Without screams, the brain would wind down, causing extreme yawning, and the Monster would then fall into a seriously deep slumber.
Later that evening Edward The Good was the first to ride an elevator down from the 19th floor. He had volunteered to visit the lobby area and fill a bucket with fresh ice.
When the elevator car arrived it was empty, and he had fun being inside all by himself. As the car descended he robustly called out, in the manner of a rocket-ship countdown, each of the floor numbers. He was far too occupied to see, much less read, a notice that had been posted, warning about the possibility of a Monster.
And on his return trip another family was moving in, four people with tons of luggage, and play gear, and coolers, and beach chairs, and boogie boards, and umbrellas, totally packing the elevator car, and once again the warning sign went unnoticed by Edward The Good.
Dad phoned Domino’s for delivery of pizzas, salads, soft drinks and dessert. The family watched Simba, Timon and Pumbaa cavorting again in Lion King 1&1/2, Picadillo fully engaged for about the “Fourth & 1/2” time, and all was well on the first evening of vacation. Oh that such peacefulness would remain the case.
With the rising of a new day’s sun, Myrtle Beach displayed itself again in all its splendor. But there’s no need spending a whole lot of time here describing ordinary happenings of lesser importance, right? Right. Everybody wants to know more about the Monster.
O! M! G! The Monster!
Mom and Dad wanted to just sit on the balcony and enjoy morning coffee. For the kids, though, it was time to bolt into action, and where better to find a gracious plenty of action, and fun, than in the building’s ground-floor Activities Room. Lively games like Air Hockey, Ping-Pong and Corn Hole — just for starters.
Having already tanked up on donuts, and orange juice, all three kids were ready to let the good times roll. So they announced to parents their destination, grabbed a sleeve of quarters – thank you very much – and off the three of them bounded, into the 19th floor hallway, then straight over to the elevators.
And guess what the easily spooked Miss Nellie then placed over her eyes. Yeah, yeah, we’ve got a clear picture about the blindfold.
But, strange. Very strange. When the elevator car arrived, and the doors should be opening, nothing seemed ordinary to Edward The Good. Why were the doors not moving properly?
He said nothing about the oddity to Nellie and Picadillo. Not a scaredy cat peep because it was probably nothing. And, anyway, Nellie would fall to pieces and have another of her girlie-style elevator conniption fits.
But then, breaking the silence, all of a sudden, dramatically, the elevator doors came alive and jerked wide open to reveal a car totally darkened inside, no lights. Squinting, Edward The Good could barely make out a black curtain near the back of the car.
He pondered what to do. Was it okay to board the elevator?
But he did not get to make that decision. Again, happening suddenly, the black curtain inside the car plunged to the floor, and only inches away stood the Monster, the most terrifying sight Edward The Good had ever encountered. He could not help but gasp and let out a forceful, “Nooooo!”
Picadillo, standing close by, became frozen in place, uncertain about whether to try running like crazy for his life – or just stand there like an idiot and die.
Nellie by this time had the blindfold off again, in her hands, and the wild screams she let out surely must have been heard throughout the entire beach universe – but sadly not outside on the condo terrace where the parents were still seated, happily sipping coffees, relaxing and talking.
The Monster seemed mesmerized by Nellie’s wonderful screams. His big black eyes became even more crossed. Then the frightful face took on a huge, smiling glare of wanting more.
Somehow Edward The Good regained composure and pushed Nellie and Picadillo behind him. Then he dove toward the Monster’s shoes and quickly tied the big freak’s shoelaces together.
Jumping back to his feet again, he gathered together the free end of the black curtain, the curtain on which the Monster was now standing, placed it over his shoulder, and turned, and ran, and pulled, and yanked, applying the utmost power of his full strength.
Down went the menacing Monster, whose tied-together feet would not respond properly, crashing heavily onto the elevator’s hard marble flooring with a resounding thud.
Result? Out cold.
While the Monster lay there, silent and still, Nellie wadded up her blindfold and crammed the whole thing inside the Monster’s wide-open mouth.