In Parents We Trust

Our life as we knew it was quickly being turned upside down. I think we both began to suffer from underlying rage, and did not know what to do about it.

For a while all I thought about were the what ifs. What if they actually arrest Ger for this? What if he goes to jail? What if we can't get Todd and Gerry back? And I thought, God, what if she would have accused me too?

Both Gerald and I wondered how this could be allowed to happen. All anybody had to do was to take a few minutes to listen to our side of the story, and be informed of the sequence of things. These claims were filed eight months after Ger had begun his fight to get liberal visitation with the kids back. Finally he gets his day in court, wins his rights back, and after one visit, Flora and the kids end up at the police station saying these awful things.

Most of all though, what didn't make sense was the fact that she kept sending the kids back over to visit. Even Father's Day. Court proposal or not, Gerald and I both expressed the same sentiment one day as we thought about how ridiculous it was. If we thought someone was abusing the boys like this, we wouldn't care one iota what took place in court, we'd run away before returning the kids to someone we believed was sexually abusing them.

One thing became clear. There is no such honorable thing as innocent until proven guilty. From the onset of the initial filing of allegations, a loving father who had begun a legal fight to assure the right to see his kids, now had to fight not only sexual abuse allegations, but also a bureaucratic system which seemed biased against him from the very beginning. Of course we worried about what would become of Todd and Gerry. Would any of us ever get our 'real' lives back?

After a spell of disbelief and letting fear and anger overwhelm us, common sense kicked in. Gerald ordered, 'Call Child Protective Services. Tell them what's going on. They should be able to help us and the kids.' He went to the kitchen and searched the yellow pages for the number. 'Will you call?'

'Sure. Give me the number.' I dialed and asked to speak to the person in charge. 'Yes, Mrs. Arland, my name is Karrol Karlin and I need to talk to you about an awful situation. We need your help and our kids need your help.' I proceeded to tell her the whole story. Gerald sat at the table next to me listening.

Fighting back tears, I explained the whole ordeal and asked what she could do. To my surprise she seemed to be aware of Todd and Gerry as two children in need of services.

'Well, Mrs. Karlin,' she answered, 'we're aware of Todd and Gerry's situation and the kids are getting counseling.' There was a tinge of compassion in her voice but I wondered if she had heard anything I just said.

'Oh really, counseling for what?' I questioned. 'Don't you realize what I've just explained to you? Aren't you going to check into the truth at all, to what we're telling you is really happening here? Please Mrs. Arland, those kids need help and they need it now,' I pleaded.

There was only silence, no sign of a response to my pleas for help. I composed myself somewhat, then began to speak again. 'Okay, okay, please listen just for a second.'

'I'm listening,' she said.

'Now why would a mother continue to send her kids to their father if she thought he was sexually abusing them? Because that's what she kept doing. Don't you think that's strange?' I awaited her response which I was certain would be a yes.

'No.'

'Yes, you do. You must!' I tried to convince her how she had to feel. I thought, who wouldn't think it was bizarre, at least neglectful behavior?