Girlfriend to Girlfriend: A Fertility Companion
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Introduction Never, never, never, never give up. Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
It s 2:09 am and the total darkness of our bedroom is pierced by the green glow of our bedside alarm clock. It s 2:09 am, and I ve been awake for three hours staring into the darkness. The warmth of Mark s body invites me to snuggle in closer and adds comfort to the chill that runs up my spine. The rhythm of his breath gives a beat to the chant in my head.
I can t believe they re pregnant. (inhale) I can t believe I m not. (exhale) What is wrong with us? (inhale) What is happening to me? (exhale)
Thank God for Mark. I don t think I would have made the drive home today without him. He talked me in as if he was landing a 747 filled with precious cargo.
"Mark, I just want a baby. I don t understand. What is wrong with us that we cannot conceive? Everyone else can have a child!"
Mark s loving tone never showed his concern.
"I m sorry, honey, I m so sorry," he repeated over and over again.
Mark and I had planned our future together so precisely. Our wedding was a beautiful celebration of our love for each other and the joy of finding our soul mates. I sold my preschool/daycare business and moved across the state to be with my husband.
It was a fairy tale. I would work with Mark, conceive our wonderful baby and then concentrate on raising our family. At thirty-three I was longing to be pregnant and carry our child. But as the months evaporated, we marked the passing of time and opportunity with white wands with one purple line.
Had I waited too long to join the ranks of motherhood? Instead of focusing my attention on caring for other women s babies, should I have focused on creating my own? Then, there was the doubt brought on by the drug DES. My mom had been in danger of miscarrying and had been given this drug to remain pregnant. Years later, it was shown to cause infertility in adult daughters of women who took it when pregnant.
This was all a tiny whisper of concern in the back of my mind. But it wasn t until today with my two pregnant friends that the volume of my concern was increased and I was struck with the feeling that I might never have a baby. The day started out with me talking to my friend Mary s young daughter.
"Guess what? Elizabeth s tiny voice bellowed out excitement.
"What, honey?" I replied.
"My mom is gonna have a baby!" she screamed.
I felt the instant need to run to our bathroom and became violently ill. "Oh wow! How exciting for your family!" I squeezed out.
"Kristen, are you OK?" Mary was back on the phone.
"I m so happy for you, Mary, I didn t realize you were trying again."
"It s a surprise to us," she confirmed.
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About the Book
Girlfriend to Girlfriend: A Fertility Companion
Through the insightful Girlfriend to Girlfriend contained within each chapter, the reader will gain knowledge into critical strategies to travel through the difficult terrain of infertility by a woman who has been there. It is also designed to help friends and family members to better understand the challenges of infertility.
Kristen Magnacca has filled Girlfriend to Girlfriend with the knowledge of what she knows now; that she wishes someone shared with her then.
About the Author
Kristen Magnacca is a woman with a mission. For three years she experienced the heartbreak and disappointment of infertility. As a result of her experience she has dedicated herself to providing insights to other women and couples who are experiencing infertility. Kristen is a member of the board of directors of RESOLVE of the Bay State, part of the national organization that provides infertility education, advocacy and support for individuals experiencing fertility challenges. Along with her husband, Mark, she created and presents her seminars, Strategies for Surviving the Journey and Your Fertility Game Plan. She has been featured in many media outlets including; The Boston Globe Magazine, HealthWeek, WebMD, and The Health Network. Kristen was invited to testify before the Senate Appropriations committee regarding her experiences to help raise awareness about infertility and the mind/body connection. Kristen lives in Massachusetts with her husband and her son.