A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Pulpit
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Trouble with Pants Being a person who has three full wardrobes in his closet, I have always had trouble with my pants. I spoke earlier in the chapter on, "In Training, about splitting my britches, while playing a game of drop the handkerchief. There have been other occasions, which were equally embarrassing. By that time, I had learned to go on and do what the Lord wanted me to do. On one occasion, we were down in Barberville, my first pastorate. A wonderful lady, who I ll call Miss. G. had a tremendous sense of humor. We were having a hobo supper. We also had spaghetti. Knowing that she had a good sense of humor, and us all being in costume I walked up to shake her hand. As she spun around to shake my hand, I had a big old hand full of spaghetti. I slapped the spaghetti in her hand, and she began to chase me. Now as big as I am, I had a friend who was larger and I had on a pair of his pants. I held them up with a rope over my shoulder. I did have enough sense to have on another pair of pants under it. As we were running all over that yard, the kids were laughing and all the adults were laughing. She chased me around the church, she chased me under the shed, and she chased me back out into the yard. About that time that rope came off my, down to the ground went the pants, down on the ground I went, on to the top of my head came the whole pot of spaghetti! I guess you could say I was strung out. At Wesconnett, when it was still in its early stages we had a second hand pulpit that stood exactly twelve inches wide. I stood up to preach one day, and realized had a real problem. I made this announcement, "Folks, as you know I am a walker, but today I am going to have to minister as our very good Episcopalian ministers do. I m going to heave to stay behind the pulpit. I didn t plan it this way but please if I start to move would you please motion me back? God has given me this sermon and the devil is trying to cheat me out of it. I m going to give it to you this morning in spite of the fact that my zipper just tore out." The crowd began to laugh and roar. I said, "it did," and so I stood up there and preached for thirty-five minutes. I don t think my wife let her hand down the whole time. She had it aimed up to tell me to get back into the center of that lectern. Other people had their hands up. I don t know how much of the message they enjoyed or how much of the message they even received because of the distraction. I did what God wanted me to do even though I felt a very strong draft. At the end of the sermon I took off my coat, hung it over the front of me and said, "Folks I m sorry there will be no hand shaking today." I exited by way of the side door with everyone laughing. On another occasion, unbeknown to me I preached a whole sermon with my pocket hanging out. Isn t that amazing? You know you try to keep your dignity, but God has a way of trimming those stiff corners of you and keeping you soft and pliable. Just recently I knew that I had counseling session, a minister s meeting and had to meet with some officials of the city. I dressed in my long sleeve shirt and I tied my tie very well and I left my coat in the truck. I proceeded to walk across the parking lot of a mini market to meet one of the church members. When I walked in the mini market the man behind the counter said, "Sir your tie is dragging in water."
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About the Book
Have you ever had something happen that you were at the moment embarrassed, but later on you found it to be very humorous? Have you ever been the blunt of a joke or of an experience that let you know that you didn t quite have it all together? Have you ever had the opportunity to realize just how incompetent you are without the move of the Holy Spirit? If you have ever had these things happen to you, then I believe you will enjoy this book. It tells of experiences, of challenges that were made for attendance. It tells of experiences of Vacation Bible School. It tells of experiences where you had your tongue over your eyeteeth and didn t see what you were saying. Often ministers are place in positions where they have absolutely no control of what happens, and they must stand there and try to be composed. I will share these times with you. I will talk about experiences with weddings that you would wonder how anyone could keep their composure. I ll talk about baptismal blunders, where in one of the most sacred ceremonies that there is, everything that could possibly go wrong did, and yet God still blessed in the midst of it. I have one particular chapter in here that I think you ll enjoy and it s not necessarily relating to the ministry, but just letting you know the human side of a minister. The chapter will be called, "My stupid sign is flashing". If you ve never had your stupid sign flash, I think you ll begin to recognize it, after hearing that particular chapter.
About the Author
Rev. Noel Roberts was reported in the local newspaper as being one of the most humorous ministers in Jacksonville. He developed this talent while serving in the area of children s ministry. His humor reaches all ages. He has pastored for most of his thirty-five years ministry. He and his wife Joan pioneered Wesconnett Assembly of God. His ministry extends to prisons and nursing homes. He is at the time of this writing, pastoring Bethel Temple Assembly of God. He has served as a professor at Teen Challenge International Ministry Institute and at Zoe University. He teaches Ventriloquism and visual arts to those in children s ministry. He is an accomplished Ventriloquist. He has appeared on national television as an introductory act for a ventriloquist convention. He was on radio as the star of the Living for Jesus is Fun program.