For Pete's Sake

When I hear about dysfunctional families, I consider mine to be right up there in the top ten. Believe me, I’ve suffered more indignities in one month than most people suffer in a lifetime.

I don’t want pity. I’ve grown accustomed to my home life. I just want the world to be aware of what some of us have to go through in order to survive.

My parents adopted me when I was just four weeks old. I know I had two siblings that were also adopted out. Its okay, I don’t remember them. Sometimes I do wonder about them. Where are they? Do they look like me? Are they happy? Whoever they are, wherever they are, I pray that they be treated with love and kindness.

Mom and dad named me Pete. I really like my name. Sometimes I’m called Petie, which I don’t mind. It’s some of the other things I’m called that I don’t care for. The names I really hate are "Little Brat, Nosy, Fatty, Porkey, Piglet and Tubby My mom has actually said to people, "I wanted a pot bellied pig and I got one when I got Porkey Boy." It doesn’t seem to bother her at all when she belittles and embarrasses me this way. One time she told my grandmother, "All my little Piglet does is eat and go to the bathroom." No, not even one small thought for my feelings. I just hung my head and wished I were a dog, since I felt like one at that moment.

When I was younger and smaller (unfortunately I’m extremely small and always will be) I really didn’t have a normal bed. It was more like a box with three sides. It was padded and I had several covers. Even though it was odd it was a comfortable bed.

During the later part of one particular summer there were many storms. Lightening would flash and crackle and the thunder sounded like bombs going off. I thought I’d surely die. All I could do was cry and whimper in fright. I needed to feel safe and loved so I went crying to my dad’s side of the bed. That’s the only time I can remember my dad ever feeling sorry for me(maybe it was just guilt). He picked me up and put me at the foot of their bed. Just lying there at their feet made me feel safe. The same thing happened for three nights, then the storms stopped. I loved being close to them so I went whimpering to my dad again on the fourth night. He started to pick me up, but mom put a stop to that in short order. She said, "For Pete’s sake, stop being a whine box and get right back in your own bed." I was so hurt and mad at her; I cried my heart out. She made me feel like a dirty dog that time! Isn’t it natural to want to be comforted when you’re scared? Believe me, I was scared. I’m still very much afraid of storms. There have been a few times that I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. The worse times are when those balls of white, hard ice fall out of the sky. Sometimes it sounds like it’s going to break the windows. I usually cry and try to hide at those times. Even then mom days," Well, for Pete’s sake, it’s okay, you stop being a baby. You’re a big boy." She really hurts my feelings. Doesn’t she love me at all?

Now that I’m older I’ve thought many times about running away. It might as well be a dream because there is no chance of it happening. I’m watched too closely to ever get away. We have such a small yard anyway. It’s more like a cage. The only way in or out of the back yard is through the kitchen door. Mom would turn into a raving lunatic if she looked out and didn’t see me in that yard. There would be an awful scene. The thought of it just sends shivers down my spine. I simply couldn’t take the chance because I’m seldom allowed outside as it is. Believe me, going outside is one of my greatest joys in life.

You know what? I think there’s an earthquake in our back yard. It’s about 1500 miles long. I could stick my finger in it if I wanted to! I don’t go near it anymore. It’s just too scary. I saw a show on the television; it was all about earthquakes. It all started with a crack in the ground. Well, that crack just kept getting bigger and bigger until cars and houses fell in. Man it was something! My mom thinks I’m silly. Can you believe that? She really did call me silly. Someday she’ll be sorry if she falls into the earthquake.

The other day, I found this little bird egg in our back yard. I was going to keep it and put it in a warm place so it could hatch. When the baby bird was born’ I was going to name it Malcolm and keep it for my very own pet. I was going to dig up worms to feed it. You know what mom did? She got rid of my bird egg. Well, when I grow up, I’m going to have 1500 birds. See how she likes that!

Do your parents take you places in the car? I just love to take rides but I very seldom get to. Most of the time I’m left here at home---alone. There are locks on both doors but you can only open them with a key. I’m not really a latchkey kid; I don’t have a key. I’m simply locked in until they return. It’s very frightening to be left alone when you’re so young. Your imagination starts to run away with you and you hear all kinds of noises. It’s so scary! I’ve tried not to be a crybaby but it’s hard to be a big boy when you’re scared to death. These are the times I think I hate my parents. How could they do this to me when I’m so small? What would happen to me if the house caught on fire? I know that I would burn up and turn black and that would be the end of me. It’s just to bad to think about!

One time I was so afraid when they left me that I curled up in the corner with a towel over my head. It was raining so hard. I almost died. I really did! My heart almost stopped beating. I know for sure that I had a nervous breakdown! I’m not kidding. I stayed in that corner so long; it was all I could do to stand up. It was about 1500 minutes before I could walk. When my parents came home, my mom just smiled at me and said," For Pete’s sake you little piglet, its okay. Nothing is going to hurt you." Can you believe that? She actually laughed at me! Well, I just didn’t think it was a laughing matter. If those big ice balls would have fallen down and broke the windows. I would have drowned. I was so mad at her. I didn’t look at her for about 1500 hours. No matter what she did to get my attention I wouldn’t look. I think that taught her a lesson! What in the world is wrong with her anyway? Sometimes I think she treats me like an old dog.