The loss of a loved one can be the most difficult and painful challenge one will ever face. I know, for the accidental sudden death of my sixteen-year-old son, Brandon, turned my world upside down. I have been bowed over with grief and have felt the devastation after the realization of being left behind set in. This realization, for me, didn’t happen right away.
I did very well at first, and many people said it was remarkable how I was managing to hold up. After about four months the big crash came. I guess you could say I had what was once referred to by the medical profession as a nervous breakdown. For the next four months I used a prescribed antidepressant which enabled me to cope and get by somewhat. However, the emptiness continued to take a tremendous toll on me and those around me. I also lost a marriage within a year.
It is said that when the pupil is ready the teacher will appear. That was very true for me. Brandon took me on our first journey together shortly before the insurance benefits for my mental health care ran out. I don’t believe in mere coincidences, and thus began our two-year odyssey of healing which I share with you here. I am happy to say that I am now closer to him and his surviving twin brother than I ever was before Brandon died, and life is more hopeful than ever.
I feel it is important for the reader to know that this book is in no way intended to imply that my experiences which follow are those that should be sought or striven for by everyone. They are merely my observations of the truth for me and have thus brought me tremendous peace and the answers to many of the questions for which I could find no answers elsewhere.
Traditional religious solace, although extremely helpful initially, did not provide the answers I so desperately sought in the aftermath of Brandon’s death. If I was going to survive beyond a mere existence I needed to know so much more than just, "It’s the Lord’s will." I had to know why, why he died and the purpose of his shortened earthly life.
It is because of the love, caring, and encouragement of my family and friends that I write this book. It is hoped that what I have been shown will help you find some of the answers you seek, and perhaps some comfort as well. My further aspiration is that the proceeds will enable me to open a caring center where bereaved individuals’ economic circumstance will not preclude them from finding understanding, compassion, and the beginning of their own road to healing.
Thank you for allowing me to share my journeys.
...Catherine Etheridge