Til Death
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What Am I Getting Into?
When we look at husband and wife relationships we are actually looking at human relationships in general. The conflict between individuals, by personality differences and differences in perception, are a natural part of our daily life. It does not make any difference who you are, saved or unsaved, our human nature is going to give us trouble. We see this very thing happening in the 16th chapter of Acts between Paul and Barnabas. Two ministers of the gospel go their separate ways because of fundamental differences. An article in the US News and World Report stated that studies conducted throughout the world found that a preponderance of marriages ended after four years. John Hopkins University in Baltimore found that the infatuation phase typically lasts two or three years. These studies are trying to determine the reason for so many marriage breakups and why people cannot live together. I would like to pose this question to you: Why do you think the majority of marriages end in divorce or separation? Before we go any further, let’s talk about male-female relationships. There are three aspects to the relationships between male and female. The first is biological. All living things have a biological relationship. The purpose of this relationship is for the continuance of the various species. This is brought out in the first and second chapters of Genesis. If there were no biological relationships between male and female, death would end all living things. So the purpose of the male-female biological relationship if for the purpose of reproduction until God makes all things new. (Revelation 21:5) The second aspect of male-female relationships is companionship or emotional. This type of relationship is an emotional response to what is appealing or desirable about each other. When we see someone who possesses mental and physical qualities that appeal to us, we become seekers of that person’s affection. This is how we choose our friends and our mates. In all instances, human love is self-serving. When we choose a friend, it is most often because the person has many things in common with you. You build your relationship around the things you have in common and how you can be served by them. This friendship usually lasts until a trust is broken. This kind of love has no foundation on which to grow. When marriage is based only on human self-serving love, it often fails. When trust is broken or when one partner fails to measure up to expectations, an attitude of betrayal develops and love is lost. The desire for companionship is very strong in all of us and we continuously search for the person we think can provide it. Human love cannot provide it. Biological relationships cannot provide it. So what is love and how can love fulfill our human needs? Now, the third aspect of male-female relationships is spiritual. In Genesis 2:22 we see God bringing or presenting the woman to the man. This was spiritual union and God confirmed this type of union in Ephesians 5:25. The husband is to love the woman that God presented to him in a manner that Christ loves the church. And we know that the relationship between Christ and the body of believers is a spiritual relationship.
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About the Book
Til Death
About the Author
I served in the US Army from 1962 to 1982. As a combat soldier until 1972, and as an intelligence operative from 1972 to 1982. My degree is in psychology, and my intelligence training enhanced my understanding of human behavior considerably. I was called to the ministry in 1983, and my training in the scripture and ministry provided a deeper understanding in human relationships. In my professional career, I examined the causes of many divorces, and have engaged in many counseling sessions of individuals contemplating divorce and marriage. Except in very rare situations, I have found a common problem that exists and affects all or most relationships. That problem is a self-centered attitude. Responsibilities are not shared because no one seems sure what role each should have. Society has given everyone mixed signals of what roles male and females should and must have to experience a peaceful relationship, consequently, confusion abounds. In talking to many men and women, many have expressed a desire to have a more definable role in the family, and even in the greater society, but the pressures of society to include family and friends prevents such personal freedom of choice. So everyone makes themselves the priority with no room for compromise. The modern independent woman competes with the modern progressive man. This creates an attitude of independence among both, therefore, conflict develops leaving both accountable to no one. In this book, Till Death, I have attempted to present the biblical perspectives regarding male and female marital relationships, and their interdependency. Without a foundation of interdependency, no relationship can succeed in accordance with the standards God has ordained. Additionally, I have attempted to create two fictional relationships that depict real life situations of tragedy and triumph. See if you can you make a correlation between part one and part two of this book.