Angels In My Life

The direction of this story had its beginning on a pad of lined 8 1/2" x 11" paper. So much was happening so fast that I had to make notes to remind myself of what was taking place in my life. First, the spiritual communications with my late wife, which began on January 5th, 2000 while I was still trying to sort through her medical records and when my intense grief had moved me to the brink of suicide. Then came other spiritual communications to validate the reality of Claricé coming through to me. And then the following August the visits from the angels began.

I now keep a small pad by my side on the night table to make notes of the thoughts and words that come to me in the twilight time before sleep or when I am awakened during the night. If you find this story that will unfold hard to believe, I want to assure you that before it all began, I would have questioned it myself. I have since found that my personal experience of God is the only truth, which would bring me an understanding of the oneness of God.

I was quite the skeptic for most of my life. I have always been very doubtful about those who communicate with the spiritual realm, such as psychics or those who are intuitive and talk of angels. Even in my youth with my strict Christian upbringing, my head was filled with doubts. I could not comprehend how the God—who we were taught was a forgiving God, the Supreme Being that created all that is, who created mankind, the beautiful world we live in and the universe—would want His children to fear Him. Often we were told we would go to hell for eternity for the slightest indiscretion or sin, while at the same time we were also taught He was a loving God. I found organized religion very confusing, beginning in my earliest years. My logical mind developed early and I began to question all things spiritual.

Today, I do not completely understand all that has been happening with me since my wife crossed over, but I have discovered a faith, truth and relationship with God which was previously unknown to me. I accept that I'm sailing through uncharted waters, learning from each wave of doubt that I still encounter.

In December of 1999, at the close of the 20th century as the world was entering the new millennium I was truly "on the edge." My wife Claricé had passed away the preceding August and facing the new year without her was something I dreaded. I was going through my first traumatic experience of the Holiday season without my wife and didn't feel I had much to live for in the coming year.

It is true that I still have my four children, their spouses and eight grandchildren. We are a tightly knit family who live fairly close to one another, but my intense grief almost outweighed the benefit of their presence in my life. With little more than loneliness and a large empty house to look forward to, I had serious suicidal thoughts. I am sure many do who have lost a loving spouse, a child, a very close relative or friend. I am certain that I survived only because I could not intentionally expose my family to the emotional trauma of another loved one's untimely death, and the extreme pain I was still feeling. It was my newfound faith, through the spiritual experiences, that gave me strength to face a new day and to find a purpose in life for my remaining years.

I had pent up anger over my wife Claricé's death. It was a premature and an all too common, unnecessary death from breast cancer due to medical error, mistakes and/or misjudgments.

My spiritual revelations began on the night of the 5th of January 2000. Unable to sleep due to my deep grief, a heavy heart and with tears flowing, I cried out aloud in the quiet of the night, "Oh, how I wish I could talk to you one more time, Claricé."

She answered me. Loud and clear, in my head I heard her speak to me.

"You can, my love; just talk to me."

With that, for reasons unknown to me at the time, a series of spiritual communications with Claricé began. There were five of them in total. They all took place between the 5th and the 17th of January and are in part, detailed in following chapters. The first two spiritual contacts are summarized in the chapter titled "A Communication With Claricé" and the balance follows a little later.