Parenting Pearls
Gems for the Puzzled Parent
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
Famous Last Words: "I Told You So"
They are famous because they are so well known. They are described as "last" because they are the last words most sons and daughters want to hear. "I told you so" is said when there is proof of a goof. Although the parent now has the upper hand in past, present, and future conflicts, "I told you so" is a dangerous statement. It can rise up and slap you, bend over and whack you, or bounce up and smack you. It does this when you're assaulted by the memory of some of your own youthful transgressions. If you are undisciplined enough to say it, better try to forget your own childhood mistakes.
Do not say it when your beloved offspring is already beaten by the results of their mistakes. Do not say it when you are feeling your strongest anger. It will come out sounding bitter, no matter how soft the voice. Do not say it when you are upset and wondering how you, the super parent, could have given birth to this idiot. Do not say it when you think it will prove that you know it all. You don't. I don't. It will come back to haunt you when you are weakest.
"When can I say it?" you ask. "This kid acts like the space between his two ears is empty." Possibly never is the answer. Think it, but if you value healing between you and your child, do not say it. They know when they have made a mistake. They know you know. But beware of the famous last words. As parents, we love being praised for being the best. Remember the best does not require that we have fame, wealth, grace, talent, beauty or hair. All that is required is that we continue to love them in spite of their mistakes and refrain from saying, "I told you so."
TV or Not TV
to See or Not to See
In many families television has become a substitute teacher and babysitter. Newton N. Minow, former chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, described television as "the most important educational institution in America." However, he omitted the unpleasant fact that too many children are sitting in front of the (often) horror machine being entertained with material fit only for the dog to watch.
Television has been described as a monster out of control in need of taming. Some turn on the television in the morning and do not turn it off until night. If children are allowed to watch three to four hours of television daily (and many do), they will have spent more time (15,000 hours) in front of the television than they do in the classroom (13,000 hours) by the time they receive a high school diploma.
Teenagers see enough violence on television to desensitize them to pain and suffering. This is dangerous. Furthermore, many of the advertisements push useless, overpriced products to both parents and children seeking permanent peace and happiness with temporary "stuff."
Parents, comfortable with the fact that their children are watching cartoons, should look at the violence shown there. Although they are considered harmless, cartoons may contain up to 26 violent incidents per program.
We cannot and should not throw out the television in spite of its potential danger. Some controls must be put in place in what I describe as the SALADS plan. Using the letters in the word, salads, parents are advised to Select, Avoid, Limit, Add, Discuss, and Set:
Select the programs appropriate for your child to watch.
Avoid the violent ones and those with sexual overtones.
Limit school age children to ten hours a week.
Add alternatives such as reading, games, sports, and other activities.
Discuss with them what they watch and watch with them when you can.
Set a good example by being selective in your own viewing.
You would not put garbage into your body: do not put it into your mind or allow it into the minds of your children. Garbage stinks. And the dog doesn't need it either.
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Book Details
About the Book
Introduction
Parenting Pearls is mighty in content, simple in format. It is great in ideas, small in size. Informational, inspirational, and sometimes humorous. It is different from any parenting book you have ever read or will ever read. The gems vary in length from one sentence to several paragraphs. Twenty-two years as an educator, fifty years as a parent, ten years of conducting parenting workshops, and extensive research are the resources used to write Parenting Pearls. The smaller gem following each larger gem is simply a fact that needs repeating, or one important enough to stand alone.
No book about parenting can say it all, but this one promises to help you become a more diligent, intelligent, and compassionate parent – most of the time.
Many of us wanted to become parents long before we took the plunge. Perhaps it was our nurturing instinct or because we hoped to produce a little person more beautiful or more talented. Maybe.
If we failed in our efforts to produce, some of us advertised for someone else's newborn, all expenses paid, or if we were rich, rash or desperate enough, we chose surrogate motherhood, the ultimate in carry-out service.
Each of the gems address a different subject. They can help a parent sail the murky waters of parenthood without sinking.
Parenting is exciting, exhausting, and expensive. It is rewarding, challenging, and time consuming. Parenting requires flexibility when advisable, firmness when necessary, and the ability to know when to be flexible and when to be firm. Parenting Pearls will help.
Parenting can bring both incredible joy and unbearable pain. It brings laughter and tears, pride and shame, hugs and discipline, kisses and control. It means sometimes experiencing unpleasant emotions in ourselves or witnessing them in our children.
Although the pronoun, '"he" is used sometimes in the gems, and "she" at other times, the solutions suggested may be used for either sons or daughters. One of the pleasures of parenting is the flexibility that allows us to adjust according to gender.
As you read these gems and use the suggestions, you will be entertained as you investigate the supermarket of solutions. Parenting is the most difficult, demanding and joyful job you will ever love.
About the Author
Biography
The author taught first grade in her local school district for five years before becoming a reading specialist. After completing twenty-three years as an educator she began writing a column for her local newspaper as she conducted parenting workshops sponsored by her school district.
Experience as a parent and grandparent was the motivating factor in her decision to write Parenting Pearls. By interviewing parents and grandparents and doing extensive research, a collection of essays were written and pithy statements were compiled based upon what was learned about how parents and their offspring interact.
She and her husband, the Reverend Cephus McGee, a retired prison chaplain, live in Elmira, a small town in Southern New York State. They are visited frequently by their three daughters, two granddaughters, and one grandson who have been taught among other important lessons in life, that when opportunity knocks, ask it to stay for lunch, or in other words, "take advantage of advantages."
Parenting Pearls is a three-year effort that was one of the most exciting works she has ever attempted. The bibliography of the most informative books titled, The Gold Nuggets, is listed in the back of Parenting Pearls. Read. enjoy, learn, laugh, agree or disagree, but read.