Untying the Knots

"Where are you going to go?" she asked cruelly, trying to intimidate me.

It worked. She was right--I had no place to go and if I stayed here this late at night, alone, my fate might be worse. I got back in the car. We rode in silence, until the sign for our development flew by.

"You missed the turn," I said quietly, trying not to upset her further.

"I know," she said, "I am bringing you to Dad’s. He needs to know what you have done to me tonight."

"What I have done to you?" I questioned with fire on my breath.

She began to cry fake tears and recited, "Daddy, Olivia took the wheel while I was driving and tried to push me out of the car!" She wiped the tears from her face and smiled her evil grin.

I knew my relationship with my father was fragile and he would immediately go to her defense. OK, I thought, I have to get to the phone in his house and call Aunt Susan to come get me. I could stay with her. She’s protected me from Madison before.

The car pulled into the driveway and Madison opened the garage with a remote. Before the car even stopped, I jumped out and ran towards the door. I got inside and went to Madison’s room; it was the first available with a phone. I locked the door cautiously behind me. Unfortunately, the door was no match for the strength of a young woman whose only reason to live was to hate me. She tore it from its hinges and it landed with a loud thud on the floor. I turned in terror as she leapt to the phone jack and ripped it out of the wall.

I didn’t know that once one phone was pulled from the socket, no other phones in the house would work. By the time I had reached the fourth floor of his ornate house, Dad had walked in the door. Madison had called him from her car phone and told him her version of our fight. I came down to meet them in the foyer. Dad had a look in his eyes bordering on rage. He was never good in intense situations. He thought more clearly in hindsight. I was hysterically crying and breathing unevenly. I felt the onset of an asthma attack. In his own poor judgment Dad didn’t ask me any questions, he simply reacted. He twisted my arms behind my back and ushered me to his car. He said, "calm down" and "get a hold of yourself." Get a hold of myself? My sister was trying to kill me!

Mom-Mom had ridden back with Dad and Brandon so that she could babysit at our house while Mom vacationed. We rarely stayed with Dad, not because we didn’t want to but because it would have hurt Mom.

Mom-mom stood watching from the doorway; she was afraid of the situation and feared the outcome. She had heard Madison’s story and thought I was erratic and dangerous. She watched Dad put me in the car next to Brandon and decided to voice her opinion. "You’ve been bad--the police are going to come for you if you don’t calm down!"

Later that night, Mom-mom took me aside and told me never to tell anyone. If I did, she would "never see me again." She had never threatened me before. In fact, she had always been the perfect grandmother, cooking extraordinary meals and spoiling her grandchildren at every opportunity. She must have been out of her mind with worry and lost clear judgment. Fearful for my life, I blatantly disregarded her warning. I went upstairs, placed a chair on the door to my room, and called Mom in Vermont.

I told her everything about my fight with Madison, Dad’s reaction and Mom-mom’s threat. She comforted me and promised never to tell Mom-mom. Mom was the only one in my life who could relate to Madison’s rage and always made me feel safe; she was my haven from my sister.

The next day, Madison left for school early and I didn’t see her. She didn’t come home until after dinner. When she saw me that evening, she acted like nothing had happened between us the night before. As if it were simply erased from her mind.

Mom came home that night and told Mom-mom that she was home a day early because she wasn’t feeling well. She took me to the beach for a walk. We talked for almost an hour before we went home and made popcorn. She cuddled with me and scratched my back until I fell asleep. She always knew what to do to soothe me.